Page..12. WHO IS THIS.
"I hear, I forget."
"I see, I remember."
"I do, I understand."
So said, Confucius, the Chinese Philosopher.
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Facts of Life.
A word, a hint, to the wise is sufficient. Ton of words of advice to the fool are of no avail. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Fool sets a stone rolling which hundred wise can not stop. Fools live in their own paradise.
God's arrangements to create this world are beyond our imagination. Everything is meticulously planned and implemented. We can not manage our home of five or six. He manages this world, worth six billions like us. There are also millions of birds, animals sea-dwelling creatures in millions and billions on this earth, including fish cods whales crabs allegators etc plus on land insects worms and flies and bees spiders ants and whatnot.
The Sun rises at a set time. It sets at a set time. Seasons appear round the year every year regularly. His arrangements are beyond man's comprehension. We describe God in our limited way.
We have not realized God in HIS full form. We have therefore no right to pass any judgment about Him. We might have come across some part of His Being. We picture God as per our form viz. in the form of a human-being.
A lion would picture God in its form viz. in the shape of a lion. An ant would picture God in its form viz. in the shape of an ant. God is an abstract existence. He does exist. It is beyond our comprehension to pictures HIM. We are too small to realise Him. God is the biggest artist. He has made humans children olders, animals. The giraffes, horses, tigers leopards deer various birds fish etc are the live specimen of his creative art.
All the living beings look like pictures, articles done by a painter, a sculptor. The Almighty took odd pieces of heads body hands legs tails, joined them together and gave life. It turned out to be a living being. The difference may be that He put life in these pictures. They became living beings. He is the Creator. He can create anything. The painter or the sculpter may make paintings or articles of sculpture respectively as per their imagination by inspiration from His creations.
No proof is needed for those who believe in HIM. No proof can make them believe for those who do not believe in Him. Therefore never pursuade, never explain to them. With experience they will fall in line. See the Kumbh Fair where hundreds of million gather to take a Holy dip in the Trio-rivers. Old and able, young and weak, blind and lame all attend to it with utmost faith. Is this not a terrible achievement? Is this not a proof?
He created Men and Women on this earth in equal proportion. His purpose was that they may take care of all other living-beings. He placed man's greatest pleasure in the private parts of the body of a woman. She has within her a deep long tunnel. Similarly the private parts of the body of a man afford greatest enjoyment to a woman. She is scared to see it. She likes it.
Man or woman, both, are incomplete without each other. Both are complimentary of each other. She is incomplete until her private part is penetrated by that of a man. Similarly a man's organ knows no rest until it enters the female organ. It is a mutual operation. In many cases, there takes place a race to win over the other. There is a conflict to prove his or her superiority over each other. No one can say with authority who enjoys more.
The man? The Woman? or None? One is a Giver. The other is the Receiver. Even the scriptures are silent as to who enjoys more when a man and a woman happen to cohabit. It is left to our imagination to picture our enjoyment in the form we would like to feel. The woman dreams of it. She likes it. She longs for it. She looks forward to it. She enjoys it.
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PROMOTION
PROMOTION
The opinion of majority of experts is that a woman enjoys more than a man. She is shy, passive. She does not discuss such matters. She just enjoys it. She lives with it for the whole of her life. The man on his part is sad. He feels as if all energy were drained out of him.
Some jokingly described the act as a craze, for excitement which you hate after you had the last step. But you want it always. You can’t live without it. You can’t live without a cup of tea. You need it badly when you have a craze. You need a woman when you have a craze.
They have been compared with many other things. You hate it afterwards. Anything in excess is poison. You can live without it. You can't live without it. It is up to you.
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THE TALL MAIDEN. Chapter 10.
Forbidden love thrilled the lovers. She married Willie on an impulse. She married for security and safety. She wanted a big name. The Mayor's family was famous. And She?
Indeed she was poor. She had no ancestral heritage. Her father was High School Teacher, Mr. Hubert. Her father spent his life in educating the children. He reared his own four kids with all good traits of life. Mr. Hubert was a gentleman of the yester-years, moody and good. He was a disciple of Dickens and had the tenderness of a poet for nature. He liked wandering in the fields. He loved life in woods and was fond of all sorts of animals. Of a high family, by birth, he hated his life as a school teacher. He was a philosopher by temperament and liberal by education. His strength or his weakness, was his kind-heartedness, which had not the power to put into effect a cherished goal in life of all luxuries for his family. He was a man of theories. He had planned to educate his children to the end, so that they may lead a helpful luxurious life.
She was not a millionaire. She was school-teacher's lovely daughter, who had a foreign-look. Her voice sounded at first meeting, slightly sharp but her frank and fearless laugh was quite natural which spread joy around her. She did not belong to this place. Boys in the class, senior boys of other class, neighbors, all were owed, went half-creaked about her. Her figure, her shape her frame, her voice, her walk was her capital. She was the uncrowned queen. All others were her subject. Often she would raise her hands to her temples to arrange her hair. Such a simple gesture provoked the near by-standers to a great extent.
She could be easily called distinguished looking. Mother Nature endowed her with dark brown eyes, and golden hair; a strange combination, that provoked men’s' attention. The full white pallor of her neck and shoulders, clothed in a light-colored gown, gave her personality an alluring strangeness. Among the lace, in the bosom of her gown, there used to shine a five edged star lockit made of eleven diamonds. It was a gift from her grandma. This was her favorite piece of ornament. She always wore it at all public functions. Some called her, the lady with the star, a lucky star!
Willie had his eyes on her since childhood. His father was the County-mayor. The mayor also represented the School Board. Willie used to visit her house as a pupil for tuition. Willie had no mind for studies. He was more interested in extra-curricular activities, outing and moving in company of other boys.
Willie, under one pretext or the other, was found to be hovering near the vicinity of the teacher's house. When he was small, he used to boast around that he would marry no-one-else but her. He was crack about her. She was not shocked. She took it as a joke to hear about it. She had an eye for a millionaire and a dignitary. Willie had no courage to open his mouth in front of her about other affairs. In her presence, he was seen as shy and reserved. He hardly would speak a few words.
As years passed by, they advanced in age. She made excuses and family reasons when he invited her out for a social gathering. This did not deter him from a prolonged hope. In all, she happened to refuse him five times out of many such occasions. This topic came under discussion at every meeting. They were doomed from the start. Her refusals, denials meant nothing to him.
He lost no opportunity to be with her and propose. In reality, she never considered him as a husband. Her attitude towards him was indifferent. She did not find any extra-attraction for him.
On the other hand, Willie was an insistent guy, never to be disappointed or disheartened by her negative-response. With every meeting with her, Willie found her prettier than a paint and delighted to discover that she was marvelous at entertaining and a charming person at social gatherings.
He took her out at least twice or thrice in a month. Their meeting was never so exciting and warm. The pair never appeared involved in each other with dazed starry eyes. It was not a case as if they could not live a moment without each other. One sunday he took her to his home and introduced her to all in his family including the mayor. They liked and approved her as a life partner for him. For a long time, she resisted his blandishments and continued to play her own way by silence, disinterested look, when she was required to react positively.
Willie was a dogged fellow. He regularly suggested her to marry him. There were series of excuses on her part. She did not commit anything. Willie’s joyous mood used to turn gloomy after every encounter with her. He was at his wits ends. Life went on like this for a few years. The same attitude continued on both sides. Willie was exasperated by her rigid behaviour.
Finally Willie thought of putting her out of his life. He projected himself as less concerned and less interested in her. He behaved as if he was on a look out for some other suitable girl. He stopped entertaining her at regular intervals. She perhaps sensing this, did a volte-face, an about-turn.
At last the inevitable had happened. She conveyed her interest in him through a leading lady of the mayor family. Willie ran to her quite shocked and moved. She brought up the topic. He could sense that she was ready for marriage. She tacitly conveyed to him that she was willing. It was apparent that her attitude was matter of fact and not love inspiring. He was blind to see it.
She said: "yes."
She: "OK"
She: "When?"
He : "Next Sunday."
He: "At the City Church."
He: "OK?"
She: "OK."
She: "Agreed."
God had smiled down on the Harris family. Well wishers and friends and families were thrilled at the news of a wedding occasion in their family. Preparations for the selection of the best man and groomsmen for Willie was a matter of fast decision. Similarly on the part of the Hubert family the selection of bridesmaid, companion maids was done by her mother amongst her school friends. It was decided the couple would share the week-end of celebration with bride's family and guests at their place.
Invitations had to be sent by special messengers. The church-father was contacted. The mayor family was taken by surprise. All arrangements were made on an emergency basis. Her marriage gown was ordered and many designers were placed on job to keep it ready within the fixed time. Caterers and music band were sent urgent requisitions to be present. The Church and the city-hall were the venue of great activity and furor.
On Friday afternoon the would be grooms were brought in the church in great pomp and grandeur. The ceremony opened with worship dancers who set the atmosphere as they lifted the name of the Lord on high scale. The guests were reminded in the songs that love can be expressed in many languages. It should come from the heart and that a few people wait a lifetime for this moment. Both,were standing before the reverend Father. The anxious moment had come. The Reverend Father in his majestic robe and with great serenity and solemnless prepared himself to officiate for the marriage ceremony.
Against the backdrop of love and friendship, she said, "I do." and the couple promised each other lifelong support and friendship. In the presence of about 500 guests and invitees, they were paired together in matrimony as husband and wife respectively in a colorful ceremony held in the city church. The tempo of the ceremony was heightened at the celebration hall, where the drummers of the famous folk-dance assosiation provided the backdrop of the wedding rituals. The music was provided by the renouned maestro Pianist Jackson Might who specially flew with his band party to take part in the occasion. The highlight of the function was the can-can dance. The choreographer had to work day and night for practice of the dance-partners. The ceremony followed a lively get-together at the city hall. Throughout the evening the couple gracefully received the blessings and well-wishes of everybody present there. The Governor of the State the Minister Mr. Collins and other celebities attended the function. It also followed the usual wedding party made up of parents, close relatives and friends of both the families. Their marriage celebration was a talk-of-the town for many weeks. Both the families liked to extend a big thank you to all the participants in the auspicious occasion.
At twenty, she wanted to get rid of her home. She accepted Willie because he was the youngest son of the mayor family. They were rich and famous. Her marriage with Willie would put her on a high platform in the social circle of the place. She must have thought so.
Within a few days, after her marriage, she was restless. She regretted the decision. It appeared as if Willie too realised the fact that their marriage was a mistaken step, and that there was no solution to it except to endure, and keep up a bold front in the family and the social circle at large. It seemed to be working in the beginning, but soon the reality dawned on them that they were an unfortunate pair of misfits. There was no romance, no suspense no thrill and no love left for each other.
After some time Willy also ended up asking himself as to what made him fall in love with such a cold ice-country princess ! He spared himself another few months regretting and wishing to end up the relationship. It was an uncommon incident in the mayor's family. To dream of being separated was considered immoral. It was taboo. Life dragged on again for some time.
Again as time went by, both realised that their marriage was a mistake. He felt he should have seen the symptoms of her indifference right from the start. Ofcourse, there is no way of knowing such an attitude in an instant, but it is possible to gauge whether their life together would survive the ups and downs of lifehood after the initial phase of physical attraction was fulfilled, and practical life began.
He felt, if he had looked for the signs! He occasionally tried to picture the signs of her dislike for him in many ways. She always talked about her unending problems and unhappiness in general about anything and everything in the house, and that her life was miserable. It was a burden for her to live in that crowded estate.
She had never tried to know about him, about his likes and dislikes etc. She had never tried to adjust accommodate herself in the new life. She always whined about her every day life. She was full of excuses and reasons for her discomfort in the mayor's society.
No matter how hard, he tried to please her, the fact remained that she never got over her distaste for him. She felt that her dislike for him was deep seated since childhood, in the back seat of her mind. It had now come to the surface. In the early days he had often found her weeping, hiding herself in the spare-room, so that he may not see her and all that. He had not taken all these facts seriously and consoled himself that with the passing of time everything would settle down and their life would be normal like others.
On her part, she was in a fit of rage, with herself for her hasty decision. She had ruined her life. Their great married life was nothing but a matter of frustration defeat and agony. Every day this feeling grew stronger and stronger. Both tried to hide their misery and managed to hold their married life together.
Willy's family was a vast ocean in the county. The mayor had three other brothers and four sisters. His parents in the eighties were dominant factors in the family.
The four sisters were married and their husbands had much voice in the family-affairs. Mr. Harris, had little time to devote any attention in the matters concerning his family. He was a public figure with public meetings, functions, parties, seminars and all that.
As such, there was no apparent vice in Willie. She never loved him from her heart. It was a marriage- a contract of convenience. She had married him because, she wanted security, safety and an abode.
She had wanted an escape from the searching gazes of the males. Now she was married. Therefore the hunt for her hand would be minimized. The mayor's family- Harris Sinclair family was a tree by itself. For generations its branches had spread in the affairs of the River-bridge county. All family affairs were managed by the mother Elizabeth, grand mother Sylvie and sister Nivedita.
Willie was the youngest one in the Harris family. She had therefore no family importance. She had a long way to go, to make herself a recognized member of the family-tree, to assert herself as a member, with a casting vote. Rank has its privileges. She had a long wait to earn a high rank in the family.
One fine morning, Willie walked out of his home to his office. He had the authorized dealership of Ford Motors for the County. He had sub-dealers under him with Ford-Motors Show-Rooms through-out the county.
He had left her sitting in the sofa with her hands folded in her lap, waiting for him to go out. It looked as if she wanted him out of the house. He could not fathom what she found wrong in him. It was not as if he drank. He had abandoned the company of his friends after marriage.
He could feel, rather sense a subdued aversion for him. He realised that she had made a mistake in her choice for him. She did not love him. She had tried to. But she could not love him. Willie entirely blamed her.
He had never met a woman so inspiring attraction. Wherever they went, men were attracted by seeing her. He was jealous. Their looks, voices, manners changed on seeing her. She was one of those rare women-meant to love and to be loved vigorously. Her power of attraction made him sure that she could give as well as receive feelings-signals from worthy young-ones of the society. But she gave him nothing. This was Willie's standing complaint. Behind the veil of an unhappy life, she had a throbbing heart, unexplored heretobefore. She had a body that needed to be watered with love and care. She had sensations like any other woman. She had feelings like any other woman. She wore a veil of disinterested outlook in life. She felt she had lost everything. She felt she was tied to Willie for life and there was no scope to get out of the mess she had created with her own hands.
Willie thought to himself: "Then why did she marry me?"
He had forgotten the years of his courtship days, when he was engrossed in devising schemes to attract her attention, giving her presents, proposing to her periodically.
He had kept her other admirers at a distance by his perpetual presence. He had forgotten the day when taking advantage of her surroundings in her house; he had crowned his labor with success. He on the other hand, felt that she had made him walk on a tight rope for long before consenting, to marry him. He had not seen the look of helplessness on her face, when she had yielded, and had spoken that she would marry him.
She was a different being in the presence of other friends and relatives. She was gay smiling and witty. Her face sparkled and her cheeks had that peculiar reddish when she talked with friends relatives at social- functions. When she was so much absorbed in talking with other females that it was a feast for the male-eyes to watch her expressions, her rhythm in explaining things, outburst of joy, exclamation and action of different parts of the face and the body.
If all of a sudden she happened to see Willie looking at her, she would check herself, regain her sad posture. She would withdraw herself to her former mood. Willie's eyes swelled. He also felt she was a pretty woman- a little taller in height; but her figure, her eyes, her teeth- he had to admit that she was too good for him. Nature had given her dark brown eyes, long hair, that combination provoked glances of all males at all times.
The full soft pallor of her neck, shoulders gave her an added quality. Willie continued to look at her. Something swelled in his heart. It was a privilege to be the husband of such a lively creature. He was able to talk about her with his friends. He could take her to parties and functions. He felt lucky to possess her. But he did not get anything from her. He was in the role of an escort or a companion at the most, with no more significance.
At the very thought, his cheeks flushed and burned. Her warmth, her radiance, her glow were sinking into his eyes. Her beauty had sunk into him. It made him long for her. At social functions, he would often steal a glance at her. She was found engrossed in talk with the neighborly lady. This was her power. This was her strength.
This was her ace up her sleeve. She could torture him. She could be indifferent to him; yet she would live with him. There was, as such no valid reason for her indifference towards Willie. Talk had already spread in the social circle.
Both were living apart. She asked for a separate room for her. It spoke volumes, where it could end. It was not as if Willie was at fault. But. Something was there. Something had happened. He cried out in exasperation: "Women are the devil."
This outburst spread in the social circles like wild fire. It was murmured, -from one ear to another and so on and so on. It turned out to be the new gossip and talk of the town. It created a flutter, throughout the length and breadth of the county, from one ear to another.
It was not her fault also. She was determined that no-one should know. Rosie the maid, had overheard Willie’s outburst. She had told in fullness to her mother, in some light moments, giving her strict instructions not to mention it to anyone.
The maid's mother wanted favor from Mrs. Darlington, where she worked. She spit out the domestic matters of the mayor's family. She had wanted a separate room. That was it. Thereafter news spread from, ear to ear, with instructions not to speak to anyone.
The matter was a topic of hot -discussion on every lip of the county-dwellers. The mayor came to know at the club through his friend, who took him in a corner and asked if it was true that his daughter-in-law had asked for separate room.
The mayor was genuinely surprised. He was shocked. He said he never knew. This was for the first time that he heard. He also felt sorry for himself. Nobody in the house took care to tell him anything about the family news and the family gossip.
He blamed everyone in general, and Willie for his tactless handling of the situation. In fact, there was no love lost between the father and the son. Their relations were matter-of fact- hardly few exchange of words here and there, as and when, they happened to come-across each other in the house.
The mayor felt that his son had done enough of courting to get her. She had no justification now to play hard, play games with her husband. She should adjust herself to their always crowded family-life, to enhance their reputation in the social circle.
She had a quality that was singularly her own. She could not be persuaded or dragged into a fixed pattern of life. The mayor did not realize this important factor. Beauty wept; fortune enjoyed. Time went on indefinately. Their life was dull and dry.
She had that strange rare ascetic outlook on life. She was absorbed in herself, realizing that life meant to give and not to take. She wanted to repay Willie everything he had done for her. She wished to free herself of his bondage. She was angry moody and dis-interested in life. She took casual interest in the family gatherings, as if she were absent-minded about anything and everything. She would answer in nods suddenly coming to life, as if she were lost in thoughts, when asked about something.
The ascetic look was misconstrued as a sensual appeal for the male admirers. Her eyes looked out at them with an innocence of a child ; which too was misread as symptoms of a classic beauty. In reality, they were the eyes and face of a girl who had kept her conscience alive; her soul untouched. She was a victim of others' jealousy. All were alert at her presence.
The social circle consisted of a few classmates males,also who were still boys. Her hubby also was still a boy. He was like a bull. He always thought of himself. She did not come across a man aware of the sensitivities of a woman. With Willie it was always a clumsy affair. He could not be patient. He was jumpy and bumpy. She could not reveal her power to love him. She could not respond to him to a point of ecstasy. She controlled her emotions and stored them in the back-yard of her mind. In the long run, emotions got repressed, compressed and degenerated, frigid. It had a psychological effect on her mind. She was desperate for a change.
Willie was seldom far from her sight. When they were separate, he was seen following her about with his eyes. He was constantly spying on her with watchful eyes. His behaviour reflected strange watchfulness and longing for her.
She never forgot her father. In her mind she constantly dreamt of him. His father had been a sort of friend philosopher and guide to her all these years. He used to take her out at regular intervals. He treated her as a lady and not as a small girl. On Sundays after the prayers, when she returned, her father would be ready, smelling of good cologne, to take her out to the zoo or to the playing ground where they would spend good deal of fun time together. Sundays passed very quickly in her life, quite busy and full of gay and laughter.
She started taking interest in the activities of the local Church. She befriended the Mother in the Church. She was assigned many activities. Many a times she used to spend the night in doing the church duties. Church duty turned out to be time consuming and filled with responsibility. She had absorbed herself in the vast field of service to the church.
Her idea was to renounce this world from social bondage. She wanted to offer herself to the service of the church. She was in two minds-not knowing what to do. She allowed time and circumstances to carry her away as they happened. Time would decide her fate.
She had lost interest from life. She knew that the church would never accept her except with the permission from the mayor. This was not possible. Mayor wanted his son to be settled and endowed with children etc. The Mayor very much in awe.
He liked her. In fact the mayor had no idea their relations were so much strained. He was not aware that there was no chance of a compromise. He took it as a domestic affair, and it would get streamlined by itself in due course of time. He was not aware what the score was. She never felt at home in their family. There was constant chaos according to her. She could not endure it. In the presence of the family-members, there was customary formal hug and peck and good night etc. between the two. Thereafter each would go seperately his/her way. Each night she felt as if she would die without experiencing real love and tenderness.
Her visits to the church had turned active gradually. She did not know, she had an admirer there too. He was a painter. He was the clergyman church Pastor's son. Her friend at the church brought this fact to her notice. She was told that he was a painter.
She was shocked and annoyed in the first instance. His job at the church also included to fix the fence, to do the plowing, cattle to tend etc. It was always work in spring time.He had to look after the work of planting the crops, milking the cows, to get enough wood, to get water for the day.
All this had left little time for him to do his job of painting. After seeing her, he was inspired to resume painting. He made portraits of models looking like her. She was her source of inspiration.
When she heard that she had an admirer in the church, she was annoyed. Her first reaction was anger and concern. She stopped for a few days going to the church. Gradually she came over the shock. She took it as a normal event that occurs at every place in life of every woman. She did not attach any importance to such casual admirers.
At the same time, she remained forewarned and alert. She avoided male company. In the church activities, her job was also to raise funds by writing letters to known personalities, organising cultural-shows or exhibitions at art-galleries.
His paintings had life into them. He had started painting-rather making irregular drawings since he was one year old. He liked creating art because it gave him a temporary escape to the fantasy world. With some attention from the viewers, the artists, sculptors singers,painters have the tendency to go out of contact with reality. His latest painting, the golden-hair girl in the nude in the arms of a gladiator about to die was a subject of criticism and comments in leading daily.
If your mind is mixed up, take a piece of charcoal and start making shapes and sizes of anything that comes into your mind. The things that are bothering you will come out on paper.
He painted because the image could preserve fond memories. The exhibitions allowed the artists to share their work with each other as well as support the church by donating work. Jimmy had the knowledge to paint something, worthwhile to look at, and which conveyed some meaning, message to the viewers.
His paintings left an indelible mark on the viewers' minds. That is art. He was an artist. She too had to admit this fact despite, her abhorrence for him personally.
Familiarity, constant acquaintance, togetherness coupled with Jimmy's helping hand softened her attitude towards him in due course of time. Now she used to discuss things with him, consult or ask for assistance from him to help her in organising the things. She behaved normal with him and showed that she was pleased with him as time passed by.
Life was normal routine for all. Time passed by. Days turned into months and months into different seasons of the year. But her life did not change. The same monotonous routine life engulfed her as if it were her destiny. She was tired of it. She had accepted life as it came.
One evening both were sitting on the divan near the wall in her office, talking about nothing in particular-say general topics. It was not long before his arm went round her. She moved up almost in the corner. He too moved up after her.
She too laid her arm under his, across his back, and he just about pressed her hard, as his arm was hanging on her shoulder. They had sat like this on a few occasions but never so close together like this. He held her firmly against him.
Her left shoulder was against his chest; already her heart began to beat faster They had not finished as yet. He was not content till her head was on his shoulder and his against it. After about a few moments, she sat upright to make her comfortable.
He took her head in his hands and laid it against his. She felt lovely. She could not talk much. There was silence. Atmosphere was tense. The next move was the suspense involved.
The joy of being loved was great. He stroked her cheek and the arm awkwardly, played with her curls. Their heads touched all the time. He kissed her through her hair, half on her cheek, half on her ear; and finally his lips went to meet hers in a state of a blissful kiss from him in token of his love for her. They got up at about half past eight.
She escaped from the office door and dashed through the lobby to the main street towards home like a frightened mare. It was the sight of a mad savage mare who had realised anticipation anxiety and pain in a secret rendezvous. It was about fifteen minutes journey for home. It was a down-hill slope; where one could almost run by gravitational force.
By the time she knocked the door to the house, to let her in, she had to fight to breathe normal way and hide her flushed face. She kept a downcast gaze at the floor and hurriedly made way to her room. All were engrossed in their own matters of conversation and other activities. Her entry in the house was taken as a normal course of event. She, once, in her room still felt flushed and excited as never before. She felt her wilted dreams had flourished.
Willie was happy to see signs of bright and happy mood on her face. The other members had also noticed a change in her. She too knew herself that a new chapter was opening up in her life. It was certainly hard for Willie and others to understand.
She knew almost for certain that married women like her elder sister Mary, would never allow an another man to kiss her under any circumstances.
Her mother had never kissed any other man in her life except Mr. Hubert, that too, not before there was a talk of engagement and marriage.
In those days boys were never allowed to touch naked breast.No farther contact below the collar-bone was the rule of dating. In fact in the higher circles, anything more than a kiss was unheard of. Her mother was a staunch catholic. She never allowed her to read sing or dance to the tune of popular folk songs.
According to her mother they were vulgar revelations of human weakness. Through her friends she had heard many cruel small verses from anonymous poets,expressing folk humour. When the girls were together and alone, they not only sang but also danced together to the tune of folk music.
The ordinery street beats, hip-hop songs in folk language reflected low taste of humour, vulgarity. It was full of satires, pranks and double meaning. The young boys and girls were receptive to such humour, jest and play of words. The coarse language bordered on the line of vulgarity. Such verses were passed on from the lips of one friend to another under strict secrecy. Two teams of boys versus girls were formed. Boys selected verses to hum to humiliate the team of girls and the girl's team by singing befitting reply-songs repaid them in the same coin.
The advantage of this was that they were free from darkness. It lead to lift a veil of ignorance about man and woman relations. Such a freedom lifted them from the path of mystery suspense and ignorance about such matters and convinced them that sex between man and woman was as necessary as food and other essentials. Such little rhymes unnoticeably helped her to know about the sexual aspects of human life. Lack of this knowledge strikes a terrible wound on young minds . She had experienced her first menstrual flow as a normal and natural event. At an age of fourteen she knew everything as to how babies were made etc. As opposed to this some staunch catholic girls of elder age of around sixteen believed that babies were born out of mother's belly button and no male participation was there in making a baby.
In her case she was well aware of all the facts about life. Nothing helped. She was mid way between the two. Her love for him was over-powering. She was failing in her duty towards Willie. She was helpless. She got worried.
She:- ( to herself). "What would Willie and others think of her when their affair would be known to them?"
She:- "What her girl-friends would speak" if they knew that she had lay in his arms, her heart against his chest, (both throbbing), her head on his shoulder and with his head against hers?
She felt, she should be guided by her heart as it dictated and took her to him. It made them both happy. Why in the world people do not mind their own business? Why do they meddle in her personal affairs? She did not know.
She remembered her mother saying:
Mother:- "Sit and remain in your place; no one can ask you to leave it."
Mother:- "Keep your hands folded and legs crossed; none can dare reach you."
She had started on a journey in which she could not remain in her place.
She:- "Sell not the bear's skin, before you caught it."
It was the beginning. She had not had him. It was only a step in that direction. She could not keep her hands folded. She had still kept her legs crossed. She doubted whether she could continue to keep them crossed any longer. Her mind used to shout,
She:- " Oh! How scandalous?
She did not think so. She was almost cornered in the house, almost neglected by the family ties of Willie's family. She had felt herself smothered. Willie had brought her as an object to decorate the drawing room as a piece or an article for show, for status-symbol.
She now liked to sit before the window in her room. There is nothing more beautiful in the world than to stand by an open window and enjoy the beauty of mother nature. It is a feast for the ears to hear the birds chirping and singing melodious tones.
It is an opportunity to enjoy the feel of the Sun on the cheeks. The only item missing in the menu was his presence besides her. She dreamt lying in his arms. She felt it so soothing and peace-giving that no words can describe the pleasure she felt that moment.
It is blissful to have his arms around her and to know that he was close-by, yet so silent! It can't be bad for this dream to be true. She imagined how nice it would be if it were real!
She realised her feelings about him. She had fallen in love with him. She felt his cheek against hers and recalled the lovely feeling. Sure she had messed up everything, she felt.
One afternoon she was at the Church for attending her routine work. He dropped in for some discussion. Thereafter, they had retired to the divan, their arms around each other's waist.
She sat pressed closely to him. She felt a wave of emotion flowing from within her. It came over, tears sprang into her eyes; the left one trickled on to his trousers and the right one ran down her nose.
He was quite moved. He flung his arms around her neck and kissed her left cheek; was going to kiss the other one, when their lips met and were pressed, sealed together in a state of bliss. It looked as if thunderbolt had hit them.
They were clasped in each other's arms; again and again never to part for a moment. He longed for tenderness. He found it in her. He realised that she had also a beating heart, and could be so loving and different when she was alone with him.
For the first time in his life he gave himself entirely to her without reservation. He had never a girl in his life before, and this incident showed his real self.
They found in each other's company an unique similarity. He gasped at the sight of her flushed face. Her pull-over was so thick-knit that there could be no way to imagine that bosom like this could ever hide behind the garb of a woolen material. He fondled her with due care and love.
She began to grasp for air. Her lungs got choked. She was breathless. She began to choke trying to scream and gasp when she suddenly realised that her whole self was shuddering and shivering with something unknown happening within her, and she felt herself swimming in the grip of violent jerks, spasms, a climax unknown to her.
It was so strong that she had never dreamt that anything could create such powerful jerks of pain agony. She felt quite drained and empty and exhausted. She at once regained herself. Suddenly she was alarmed and afraid. She pushed him and ran around to pick up her belongings. He did not know what had hit him. He gathered up himself and ran for his quarters.
She wrapped herself, with all the actions of a frightened kitten. She closed the office and ran for home. She returned in a frightened mood. When alone in bed, she got haunted by the usual question which gave her no peace of mind. Sleep was over-powering, she was debating with herself between sense and sleep.
She:- "Was it right?"
She:- "Was it proper that she yielded so soon?"
She:- "Was it prudent to let herself go to this extent?" She had no answers. She left them unanswered to the mercy of fate and fell asleep. Things were not in her hands. She was pulled and pushed in and out of a powerful current in an ocean of sentiments and love for him. The situation had taken an unexpected turn.
In the meantime, the town was quite rife with rumour that something spooky was going on between the mayor son's wife and the pastor's son.
Once he led her to his lodging room. They climbed hand in hand the winding stairs to the floors above. It was the roof-top cabin with glass windows overlooking the trees The church was on the top of the hill. His cabin was up in the site of natural scenery and beauty surrounded by all sorts of ups and downs of small hills with a river bisecting them flowing majestically in the shape of a serpentine line visible upto a mile.
He had linked his arm through hers. He led her near the corner window. He stopped abruptly. It looked as if he wanted to have an idea about her features. He had formed an image in his subconscious mind about her body. He liked to compare notes. He wanted to see with his eyes if her body did correspond with the mental image he had formed about her. He made her stand there and with meticulous care, with an eye of a professional, examining his subject for painting. He put the clothes on a chair. He moved backwards a few steps and stood as if in deep thought at what he saw. He was happy and looked puzzled also, finding how verbatim cent percent his mental image tallied with what he saw in her frame. It was incredible that his estimates had been cent percent correct.
People said many things about him.
No one could say that he was not handsome.
He was tall slender and graceful.
He had a sort of an animal type of grace that attracted
the ladies despite their unwillingness to involve in any relationship. He had a seductive youthfulness. He was a flatterer. He had the inborn quality to make out tales after tales
which the ladies liked to hear him narrate again and again.
He often wondered how people swallowed his crap, and how he managed to escape himself unchallenged. He simply had no idea. It was luck or his instinct to make the right acquaintance at the right time, and make exit at the right time. His gestures were
calculated with mathematical precision and his every smile wink handshake were well rehearsed. He had the neck to find out the families who would be useful.
She felt deep pity for him.
She saw him as a helpless captive in the hands of the church.
She also felt something else. She could not explain. It was an impulse but she experienced a physical need to touch him. This urge was so strong that when she spoke to him,
She pat him on his hand or put her hand on his thigh etc. Such innocent gestures very deeply kept him disturbed.
Something really tangible happened one day. He had finished his routine work and was about to retire to his place. She crossed the path and stood invitingly mocking.
She was absorbed in her game but at ease as she had seen him completing his outdoor job and returning on break for rest and lunch. She laid her hand on his shoulder dragging him near
as if she intended to reveal a secret.
He attentively listened. Both with their hands entangled departed towards his room on the top of the mansion. His hand came to rest on her shoulder.
It moved down her back. She felt it went still deeper. She had a jittering of her body unknown to her. It came with an intensity which she never knew it was possible. It had lasted about a minute. It was total. It was so full and all-encompassing that it had an effect of an explosion she felt for all the time,she had lived and of all the years yet to be lived.
Now she was certain God existed. Now she could die without regret.
(to be continued)...
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Chapter 14. LOST OPPORTUNITIES.
Never lose opportunities in life. Opportunities come rarely in life. Goddess Fortune visits you a few times to gift you with an opportunity, Take it grab it. Do not miss it. See others. Do as others do. Make friends. Make followers. Form a team of your own. If you keep alone and aloof you will wind up jailed in home frustrated spent disgusted. Friend’s contacts and a circle of well wishers will help you overcome your difficulties. Do not spend your time in the house. Home is your jail. Be a flying and moving bird. Home is only for sleep.
Everything else has to be done out of the house. Do not feel surrounded by circumstances. Make a way out of it. You have to fight your own wars. Do not think miracles will happen. Many people put away their problems in cold storage. You have to be a good judge of the problems. Problems on non-recurring nature may be put in cold storage. All problems can not be put away in cold storage. You have to periodically examine them evaluate them whether it is wise to sit tight or make a move and take action. Are you on the horns of a dilemma? Grab the dilemma by the horns.
Ladies never allow opportunities to slip from their hands. They can turn demons. They are born revengeful if harassed. They have suffered from inferiority complex since ages. They are always on the defensive safeguarding themselves from the men. If they love a man, it is out of caprice. Those to whom she is cruel take this as her love for him. She is towards the man, full of treachery, mockery and trickery. The man who loves her truly is a lost man.
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Chapter 15 NINE DAYS’ WONDER.
Man and woman possess different characteristics.
Man is restless, lazy and an outdoor type of a fellow. He has no peace. His blood is hot. He is a sort of a jumpy type.
The woman is calm, quiet and home-loving. She is passive. There is a different angle in their approach to any single incident. Take for example.
A group of equal number of boys and girls be formed to study their behavior. This may confirm the belief that man is restless combative burning his way to the top.
The woman is cool calm and balanced and sticks to one place, restful. The Telephone companies hire girls as telephone operators. They can stick to one place for hours. The boy is a restless type who can not stick to one place for a long time. He will stand up, peep through the window; he will go to the wash room, and so on. He would leave his place for no reason. A woman is a tolerant type of a human being. She can serve well, as a nurse in any hospital. She can wait for hours together on her feet in an operation theatre. She can be a good teacher. She can treat the young children better than males. She can spend hours together with the children and impart them with good knowledge. The man on the other hand is a restless type of a fellow. He has no patience. He can not wait upon the patients in hospitals. He can not spend hours with the children to impart them with good knowledge.
Then what is he useful for? What is his need? Why he is not kicked out? Hand over the affairs to the females. There will be peace on the surface of the earth. Man is a warring type of a fellow. Female is a peace loving type of a lady.
She is termed the better half. She is better than her counterpart.
Take example of Elephants. This species of animals is vegetarian. It is considered an Intelligent animal. In ancient times the female elephant of the Royal Court had a place of Honor. In the event the King died without nominating any successor, the act of choosing a King was on the shoulders of the female elephant. She was let loose in search of the new King. The elephant carried in its trunk a jug full of water. She would move around in the crowds with the pail of water in its trunk. She roamed around in the crowds. She would judge the best man. She would select the King. She would spill the sacred water on the individual who according to her was worthy to be a King. Such an individual was declared the King. Female elephants are more sensible than male elephants. Elephants have a hard tough skin, sharp nose, powerful eyes and sharp ears. But they have a sentimental heart. Their remembrance power is terrific.
A tailor out of mischief had pinched his needle in the trunk of an elephant. Next day the elephant on its round in the town filled his trunk with enough water. No sooner it saw the tailor master in his shop it sprinkled all its water in his shop as a tit for tat. Elephants are very wise and hardworking type of animal species. It understands what his master says. Elephants love to play with children. Elephants are noble and loving. They are faithful to their masters. They pull logs of trees and do all sorts of hard work. A woman can be compared to the species of the Elephant. We are just like the blind man who described the Elephant like a tree, seeing his legs big like the body of a tree. The other blind felt the trunk of the Elephant like a serpent.
The third blind happened to feel the back of an Elephant. He described the Elephant as a mountain. The fourth one touched the ears and described the Elephant like a big banana tree leaf. We are like the blind fellows. We do not see the entire woman as such. We see her parts and describe her accordingly. We have to see the inner self of the woman and not the mere exterior. Beauty is only skin deep. We have to discover the damsel in her.
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Chapter 16 THE FOOD WE EAT.
God incarnated Himself in the form of a human being to know our miseries. He lived life of a child like any other child lives. He lived life of an adult giving us An illustration how to live life. He lived like all of us. He ate the same food we eat. But he did all above process differently. Say for example the way to eat. He ate the same food we eat. There was nothing special in the quality variety of the food. He ate it differently. It is the way he took his food to eat it. He took food at regular hours after a fixed interval. First thing is to eat food, in such a way that would sustain life. Before coming to the table, he was fresh with bath and eager to eat with a hungry stomach. He was quite calm and quiet at the dining table. He spent two minutes in a prayer to thank the Lord for the food. He would then cut a piece from the plate, puts it in his mouth with ease chew munch every morsel with slow pace to allow the saliva from the mouth to mix with it before it went down the throat to the stomach. All enzymes get mixed in the stomach to digest it and convert it into blood energy strength to the body.
An important aspect about eating food is never to eat the food in a rush. Never eat food while moving walking in streets and roads etc. We see a lot of people running in trams and rails biting hamburgers and sandwiches swallowing the bites as if they were in great hurry with no time to spend on the dining table, and follow the food eating ritual. If you eat food in such a hurried half hearted way it might give strength to your body. It will not give you mental strength, which you need most. You shall lack in mental strength. You will falter at the eleventh hour. Your mind will not react promptly. You would fail at the exact moment. Therefore eat as my Lord does. We are, what we eat. The food we eat affects our system. If we eat simple fresh food the energy derived from it will give us good ideas. The present day life is full of stress. It has resulted into a chaos. We can not maintain a decent lifestyle howsoever we try. We are constantly busy with our work. We want to put an end to serious health problems. We can improve our food habits by constant practice vigilance in selecting the food items. We have to buy fresh vegetables. We have to buy fresh fruit juices. We should not drink synthetic can drinks. Eating Pizza and drinking can drinks spoils the health. The cookie pastry muffin hotdogs chocolate bars we eat are made of white sugar which is addictive and harmful in the long run. Our body is not designed for unfamiliar substances to be dumped in the belly. Meat is a heavy item of food. Our ancestors had a very hard life. They used to travel by horse camel, carts carriages for miles unto miles. They used to carry on their shoulder back, on head, heavy load, which we now never do. They had to cross over rivers by swimming miles unto miles to reach their homes. We now drive cars, trucks tractors. Our life is comfortable and easy. We can not digest heavy food like meat etc. It is reported that it takes 72 hours to digest certain meat items. Our body has not finished the digesting the meat we ate before a few hours. We dump further food. This is an extra burden of the digestery system. Eating one meal a day gives the body enough time to digest the food and maintain good health. The agony, the pain, the torture, seen in a dead animal’s eyes is reflected in the meat we eat. See the eyes of a dead fish. Can you measure the pain and anguish in those dead eyes? It tells untold stories of pain and misery.
We can improve our life if we devote time and attention to our food habits. If we eat the right food, if we have patience to eat the hot warm food, if the atmosphere is right, the effect is ten times better. You have to be relieved of stress and pressure before you seat at the table for food. A bath perhaps may help. Prayer before the food is a healthy sign. It helps you to put your mind at ease. You do not feel you are alone. There is God who is always there to help you. The body and mind are very closely connected. The food put in the body creates energy commensurate with the quality and type of the food you eat. Simple food does not mean cheap food. Simple food may be costlier than normal food. It should contain balanced ingredients to sustain the body. The emphasis is on natural juices fresh vegetables green peas green fresh fruits carrots and green pulses. Take milk in enough quantity. You are your own doctor. Find out which diet suits you. One man’s food is another man’s poison. Select your own menu as is suitable to your health and temperament. Nature has provided everything for our survival. We have to run our eyes to trace it find it. Hi-breed food items are plenty these days. Green Vegetables grown under our eyes in our garden are preferable to the months old vegetables found in grocery stores, stored in cold-storage compartments.
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Chapter 17 MIND IS A VAIN MONKEY.
The Mind is within us; yet it is apart from us.
The Mind is the root cause of all worries, problems. The mind remains continuously at work. It never stops. In sleep our mind is at work. All sorts of ideas are visiting the mind. It needs some rest. Without a night’s rest, proper function of the mind can not be expected. The mind has to stop and take rest. The man can go mad of over thinking. A person suffering of mind mal- function is seen muttering to him while walking on streets and roads. It can lead to hypertension vexed nature at times bordering on eccentricity, scizophrania.
It is said that, in birds, half their mind is shut, when they are resting. You can see their one eye shut. It means half the mind is at rest. Turn by turn half the mind gets rest. Such a contrivance will help us to overcome our worries. Life would be worth living.
We need an auto stop inside the head to regulate the movements and activity of the mind. It would automatically stop the mind at regular intervals. We should turn off the small dynamo in the head for a while at regular interval. It is on and working day and night.
In sleep the sub conscious mind is at work. Man is thinking all sorts of things of which he has no concern what so ever. Thinking process should be limited to moderation. An Idle mind is a devil’s workshop. All sorts of ideas good and bad visit our mind and influence our life. A movie a book can keep the ideas away. Keep engrossed in some work. Keep busy. Do not be alone. Form a group. Do prayers. Do something. Be in the company of a mob, participate in some activity. Concentrate on it. Do not allow the mind to run away from you. Mind is termed in scriptures as a galloping monkey. It has to be trained disciplined. It will otherwise play havoc.
If you are involved in some work or engaged in some sort of activity or engaged in some sort of meeting or discussion, ideas would remain a mile far from you.
Some sort of a device, a contrivance on lines of an auto-stop in a fridge refrigerator is necessary to be installed in the mind. It will enable the mind to rest at fixed time.
The sages hermits practiced Yoga to steady the mind. Yoga helps to keep the body in exercise. It helps to stop the mind visiting funny ideas. It is helpful to be engrossed in gardening lawn mowing activity trimming the hedges or some such activity. Playing a game keeps the mind busy. A game of football will bring you nearer to Heaven than reading a Holy Book. If you are tied at home write His Lord’s name in a note book thousand times. The idea is to keep the mind busy in a mechanical process. This is a time consuming process. You must be determined to train discipline the mind. Mind is a reckless muscle in the body like any other muscles. Ii is a bundle of blood-vessels and muscles, in addition to a few various other functions. It has to be trained. It has to be explored bored charged drilled to some extent by other activities. The idea is to keep a common man away from unnecessarily worrying.
We use artificial means to bring about our beauty sleep. As old age advances sleep is far off. It becomes difficult to sleep these days. All sorts of childhood events appear before the mind on the memory screen like a continuous film show. The heart begins racing as we get up in the middle of the night to search for sleeping pills. When night falls he knows it is going to be one more horrible night. We desperately try to lock out drive away thoughts entering the mind. We cover ourselves in bed change postures change sides, stretch legs and hands but sleep does not come. All his past seems coming back again and again. Remember what you did when you were a child. You were crying in the cradle staring open eyed at an object and at last you were getting sleep.
Nature has bestowed in birds the facility of a resting mind. When birds sleep their one eye remains closed. The half portion of the mind of the bird gets rest. When in sleep their one eye remains open and the other one closed. Birds are lucky.
Mind is not an ordinary monkey. It is an ape monkey. It is a gorilla monkey. Your reins over him has to be hard and tight. You have to have powerful hands to hold the reins over him. Keep it busy. Entrust him with refreshing events after events since you came to age.
Remember names of places, friend’s books streets cities hotels theatres plaza anything and everything under the sky. When the mind starts engaging in useless things, stop it soon.
Give him more important work to refresh your old contacts. The gist is that you should constantly monitor what the mind is doing. It can not be left alone. There must be a tight rein of your supervision over it. It might play havoc otherwise. It has the habit to jump and gallop from one subject to another by itself without waiting to let you know or take your permission. Hold your reins tight over the mind and your mind is a good slave.
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What is MIND?
The world philosophers have been struggling hard to differentiate between Mind Brain and the Heart, for ages. We want to know what the mind is: where it lies in the body, where is it located?
What do we mean when we say, "What do you mean in your mind?" What do we mean when we say? "Mind your own business?"
Why do we not say," What do you mean in your brain?"
Why do we not say, Brain your own business?"
Why do we not say, "What do you mean in your Heart?"
Thus it will be seen that Mind Heart and Brain are different organs in the body and can not be Inter-changed with each other. They have different functions and roles to play.
In the 19th century the French Philosopher, and mathematician Rene-Descartes was not convinced about theoretical traditional and theological dogmas. He sought to get back to finding why anything can be said to be true. Meditation and deep thinking on an analytical basis revealed fruitful thought. It is called Rene Descartes doctrine of COGITO ERGOSM which means I think therefore I am, I think therefore I exist. This was his attempt to separate mind and matter, but it was not an answer to what is Mind? What is matter? Where is Mind?
Through our normal channels of knowledge we understand that Brain is a thinking machine. It has no sentiments. It has no feelings. It is a sort of calculator. It adds, subtracts divides and multiplies ideas in an arithmetical way.
Heart as we understand, its function is to pump blood to every part of the body. It is a pump. Heart beats at regular intervals.
It has no feelings. It has no sentiments. It is a device with four valves to pump blood in the body.
Mind is in the body. Mind is a part of the brain. It has sentiments. It has emotions. It has love. It has hate fear joy sorrow and all sorts of feelings, a human being can dream of. Mind is the Self as is popularly called in religious philosophy. This self or the mind is the source of life to our body. It is invisible. It is indivisible. It is felt. It can not be seen. It is there in us yet we can not put our finger on it. Mind goes away when a man dies. Mind is invisible and untouchable and yet it is in us. The mind is within us. It is in all parts of the body. Mind is the life of us. When mind is dead, we are dead. It like mercury flows within all places in the body. Mind is not different from us. It is our body as a whole. Mind, conscience, soul self, are all sorts of adjectives crowned on the Mind of a person. It is in a nutshell our Mind that is the crux of life in the body.
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Chapter 18 HOW TO CULTIVATE GOOD MEMORY.
Memory of what? Names? Books? Telephone numbers? Names of cities? Names of countries? Details of geography? Details of history and historical events? Details of science and scientific events? Details about your business? Details about your personal life? Details of sport events? Who was the champion of such and such an event in such and such a year? All this information can be had from the Encyclopedia. Why we should remember ? With the help of Internet,we can search anything in a moment.
In actual life, we have no chance to refer to Encyclopedia, computer help, in the midst of a group etc. What we have to do it is to get it and speak it out at the right time. The delivery system has to be effective. Memory is to remember on the spot. That process of synchronization is very necessary. You have to remember a particular relevant fact at the relevant time. This is very important. Remembering the relevant fact, after the event has passed is like you have missed the bus. The information so vital at the relevant time now remembered a little later, it has no meaning. Human mind is a big warehouse of information stored therein.
You have to develop an efficient system to bring the information at the right time. Your faculties do not respond at the proper time. There is something wrong in the way we have stored the memory in the mind. It has to be searched at the fraction of a second and communicated. So many medicines are available in the market to increase the memory. There are natural ways and means to develop good memory without use of medicine.
A healthy body and a healthy mind are all that is necessary. God has gifted you everything. You have to develop it. You have to train it. You have to set your system right. Be orderly. Do not be negligent and careless. Be vigilant. Eternal vigilance is the price you have to pay for being successful. Our mind stores events. Our mind stores what we have read. Our mind stores what we have seen. Our mind stores what we have heard.
Since childhood our mind is storing information details everything. It is there. What is not there is the fact that memory is not refreshed. Dust has covered it. You have to clear the dust. You must have the same piece of information at the nick of the time. There is something wrong in our communication system. We can not locate it and deliver at the right moment.
We do remember it, but it takes time. By the time you have lost the opportunity. That means time of delivery of memory when you want it is very important. You have to practice
To remember and bring them to your mind instantly. This is what you have to achieve. You have to master it. You have to expedite the transit system of memory at the right time. You have to be a good conversationalist. You have to develop good power of expression. You have to well modulate your voice. It should be clear sweet and pleasing. If you write, your writing should be gripping right from the start.
They say elephants have very sharp memory. We have to practice to get sharp memory. Much depends on what we eat. Much depends on what how where we live. Much depends on how much we read. Much depends on what how much we see. We hear lot of things. All this has to be streamlined into regular compartments and stored in the warehouse of our mind in an orderly manner to be able to locate the same in a moment. Good healthy man can do it. The mind should have rest. The atmosphere should be pleasing. The mind should be free of worry problems about personal life. The mind should not be disturbed shocked suffering from fear horrors worries and all that. It should be in a state of normal day to day life. We should eat good simple food. We should do regular exercise. The blood stream in the body must be smooth. This helps the mind to work faster. Do not burden the mind. Do not threaten the mind. Take the work from the mind in a routine way but faster and faster and faster. Refresh your memory at short intervals. You have to develop your confidence. If you are sure of yourself you remember a particular thing at a right time you are a genius. You have to remember and express the right thing at the right time and at the right place. Enjoy life. Keep smiling. Take interest in life. Keep busy.
Not a second has to be wasted. To memorize a right thing needs lot of practice homework discipline and everything. You have to concentrate on that particular memory required for the occasion. Your system should not falter. Your line should not get jammed. It should flow. Mind is made of billions of nerve tissues. You should not suffer accidents. You mind should not get damaged. You lose ten thousand gray cells everyday. You have to be guarded against failing memory. Memory loss is terrible. Life is lost. Old people do have memory. They can not produce it at the right time. The system gets jammed paralyzed. We see cases of amnesia total loss of memory. Such cases fall within the scope of psychologist neurologists and experts in that part of the science. Here we are concerned with our day to day life of a normal human being. Some have sharp memory. Some are dull in memory. Some have retentive memory. Some remember and forget easily.
As time passes by we forget most of the things we have seen read heard felt experienced etc. There is permanent memory. Some facts we never forget in life. Some are passing by events that we conveniently omit and forget. It is episodic memory. Memory and knowledge are two different subjects. A man can speak hundred languages. A man can speak for hours. Hard work is necessary for all this. Life is full of hard work. Memory will come if you have stored knowledge in your mind. Some events are long term events. Some are short-termed events. Some events are ghastly imprinted in the seat of the mind that one never forgets till he dies. Day to day events is generally forgotten easily. We have to refresh them daily. Hard labor and constant revision is necessary to sharpen your memory. We should form a habit to write day to day diary of events names and characters we have come across. The mind is a big storehouse of knowledge. All knowledge is lying there. Function of the memory is to bring that knowledge from the storehouse within a second. The process of bringing that knowledge from the storehouse to the tongue is memory. We have to sharpen it time and time again to keep it active, alive.
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Chapter 19. DO NOT KILL DUMB ANIMALS.
In the name of mad cow disease millions of cows were slaughtered. The animal species of cows is about to be extinct. Nature made cows for a purpose. In the name of bird-flu, millions of chicken, in the poultry farms were destroyed by using carbon monoxide.
We have no right to destroy a particular animal species. Who is responsible for this mass cow slaughter? Why animal rights activists are silent about such large-scale killing?
Who are we to disturb the balance of Nature? They had no right to order shooting of dumb mute animals. Nature has created the animal species of cows for a particular usage.
Its milk is a boon to the young ones. Milk butter cheese is valuable products out of milk.
In the name of foot and mouth disease we have destroyed thousands and thousands of cows sheep and pigs and ordered to shoot them to kill them by calling the Army.
We had no business to destroy the mute animals on such mass scale. Our generations will pay a price for our deeds. Who are we to destroy the property gifted by the Nature?
National Geographic Report indicates that we have exhausted quota of sea fish. We have placed huge trawlers in mid seas. Huge nets catch thousands of tons of fish.
Huge human work force beheads the fish at the bottom of the trawlers. They slice the fillets; pack them in cold storage containers in the trawlers.
The left over is dumped into the sea, from the bottom of the trawlers. Nature had provided enough stock of sea fish. We can not destroy it. We can not disturb the balance of Nature. Japan captures maximum stock of fish. So also other countries of the world capture fish.
Don’t be surprised if our stock of fish and wild life went extinct. It is the beginning of the end of the fish and wild life from the surface of the earth.
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Chapter 20 OUR PROGRESS.
Have we progressed? Can we make blood? We can not make any type of blood. Human blood or animal blood. Can we make it? The answer is in the negative. We can not do so. Can we make bones of human beings? The answer is in the negative. Can we make ears eyes the nose? Again the answer is the negative. The nature has gifted sea fish with a special type of a nose. Nature has fitted a contrivance in the fish that she can breathe under water. It can segregate oxygen from water and can breathe. It can distill salt water into pure water. It has not to come to surface to breathe every moment for fresh air or for drinking water. Our human divers need oxygen cylinders to breathe under water. Can we imitate and make such a fishlike contrivance in human nose so that he has not to carry oxygen cylinder when he dives under water.
The answer is again in the negative. Do you know Russia experimented on captured POWs to change their nose? The scientists experimented on hundreds, thousands of POWs with the fish nose. They were not successful. Then what are we boasting about our achievements? Who are we to disturb the Balance of Nature?
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Chapter 21 INFANTICIDE.
We have sold our souls. We have mortgaged our conscience.
The butchers have declared abortion as legal. The butchers kill animals. We are worse than butchers. We kill infants. It is infanticide. God made two genders. Male and Female. Man gives. Woman receives. Man plants. Woman rears it.
The two genders have equal proportion. Both have fifty, fifty ratio. This is the way to procreation. The continuity of human race depends on this ratio. Who are we to disturb the balance of Nature? Our generations will pay heavy price.
Why our social regulations allow a married woman to conceive? Why an unmarried girl can not give birth to a child? Why do we turn to abortion and ruin their life? Our religious code is outdated. In every case the girl has to suffer.
The man goes Scot-free. Religion never meant to kill the embryos. It is infanticide. The parents the society has to change their outlook. The frightened girl will be at ease. Many suicide cases of girls will be stopped.
A serious campaign in this aspect is overdue.
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CONCLUSION.
"May the Road rise to meet you?
May the Wind be always at back of you?
May the Sunshine always warm upon you?
May the Rainfall always fall soft upon you?
May the God in the Hollows of His Hands always hold you?
May the People recognize how important you are?
May the society realize how hard life is for you
May the Time favor you as Beauty Queen and say, "I crown you?"
May the Satan invite you to an Orgy, "I want you?"
May the Mother in Heaven told you, "I am proud of you."
May the Prince Charming told you, "I love you."
May the Teenage Girls told you, "I envy you."
May the Reader after Reading told you, "I enjoy you."
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HOW THE BRIDE BURNED HER HAND ! Chapter.11.
(How she is involved in an arranged marriage him.)
It had all come about so quicky, she did not believe it was happening around her, about her. All were greeting her. She was taken to some spots for religious ceremony. Her chorus of friends kept her encircled singing and playing instruments at all times. Her calf muscles cramped with fatigue and tension. perhaps she had fears about it.Largely consoled by her chorus of friends, she was in good mood. Till the day of her marriage the friends took an unusual task to keep the bride in marriage in her mood and she should not feel that she were forced to go though all this.
There was furor and activity in the house. A great occasion had come in the familiy. All were rejoicing gay and happy. It appeared a solution to a world problem was found out. The marriage ceremony was almost a nightmare. She was a spectator, quite dazed and dumb, to all, that was happening. It seemed to her that she was entering into an another world, in an unknown land where there was no familiarity. All were strangers to her. She did not know them well. She had not studied their nature. She was not aware of their likes and dislikes. Everything appeared upside down in her life and in her mind. A strange idea occured in her mind.
She:- "Do I love Jimmy?"
He suddenly appeared to her like a stranger. whom she hardly knew. She had known of his existence only some time back. Now she was his wife. Why did it happen? Why she should fall into marriage so suddenly? She felt as if she fell into a hole just beneath her feet. There are mysteries of life that are carefully kept secret from children for a purpose. Now she was not a child. Young girls are thereby kept pure in mind body and soul. It is the husband's duty to lift the veil of secrecy about facts of life. She now entirely belongs to her husband.
She was now married. What had occured within the few days appeared to her like a nightmare. She thought it was just a dream. There are moments in one's life when things appear changed overnight. Even the motions and movements seem changed. The time in hours and days seem to be out of their usual time. She felt bewildered. Last evening nothing had as yet changed in her life. She felt. She had gone to her bed to sleep last night as a girl. She was now a married woman. What a change! She had crossed a boundary, which promised all joy happiness and surprises of a new life. She felt as if a new door had opened for her in her life.
She was nineteen. She was unaware of various arts of love-making. She was betrothed and marriage date fixed within no time. Her chorus of friends on the eve of the marriage-night, had appraised her of the ways of love. Ignorant of the tricks and means of making love, she was nervous. She was ashamed within her heart, on hearing her friends describing the intricacies of love-game in detail. Suspense was mounting. She was nervous, dazed and wide-eyed at sudden change in her life.
She experienced a sense of anxiety, shock and fear. She did not know what to do. She never thought love-games to be prolonged and so much detailed, like a rhythm.
She was happy that she was alone in the room. She stood before the four-poster. A huge shining yellow chandier decorated the red brown table. There were other white articles of marble. There were sources of white light coming into the room by way of the open windows. Her face flamed in anxiety. She felt herself frozen in anxiety. The bells of the adjacent tower were heard. That means the time was eight in the evening. Standing in anxiety, her back touching the edge of the four-poster,she was almost shivering. A thrill passed within her. The scream of a train whistle was heard through the window. She felt as if some one had pushed a dagger into her. At the foot of the window,of her room, traffic and noise, taxi horns blowing near the train station, was enough to shake her composure. She moved to the two windows of the room. She tightly shut them off for peace and silence. There was silence in the room.
Her hubby came to her around that time, with bouquet of roses, smelling of perfumes. He was dressed like a Prince. He checked to close the main-room light. They were already shut and there was only a candle burning near the table.
The atmosphere was romantic. The room was well decorated with romantic surroundings. It smelled of roses every side of the room. Light music was heard The atmosphere was maddening and intoxicating. Here both were alone and young. He was humming lustily in tune with the ongoing music.
Both were engaged in preliminery small talk. He narrated his life incidents in detail. He gave her some drink from the jug.Both took some grape and fruits. Time was passing by. He then took her in an erratic dance. They pushed and pulled and moved from one end to the other in an attempt to celebrate the occasion. She felt his arm pressed gently around her waist. She said nothing. Her breath came in quick gasps. Her heart seemed beat fast. His fingers caressed her hair.
He placed his lips to her ear and whispered.
He:- This evening you will be my wife!" She felt surprised. She:- "His wife?"
She:- "Was she not his wife already?"
He kissed her temples and neck. They were little light kisses. She felt startled each time by these kisses to which she was not accustomed. She felt his rough face skin with her smooth face. She found it tickling. She instinctly turned away her face to avoid them. She liked them. She felt embarassed and shy. Her modesty was coming in her way. She had her eyes averted to the floor. She had gone numb. He withdrew his arm from her waist. They turned around and stiood face to face. They were so close that they could feel each other's breath. He gazed at her with that gaze in which two souls seem to blend and dissolve into one being.
After detailed preliminaries the inevitable happened. The love-game was about to begin. He took her in his arms and kissed her face, lips and neck and so on again and again. He lifted her in his arms. He placed her near the edge of the four-poster. She stood looking, all confused and bewildered at the turn of events in her life.
He went into the dressing room. She heard his movements. He reappeared to put his wallet and other belongings on the room table. He had emptied the contents of his pockets. She heard the water tape flowing and found him gargling.
He half-disrobed himself. He threw away his coat tie and the shirts. He was now in his pants. He grinned at her. He found a towel to rub himself. She looked up. Only the support of the four-poster kept her from tottering at the view of his bare hairy chest. He had a healthy muscled body with smooth shining skin. It was covered with hair at all places that ran down between his nipples, spread down to the belle-bottom. When he raised his arms, she had a glance of a tuft of black hair at his armpits. Sight of such dense hairy armpits mingled with the smell of perspiration and perfume maddened her.
Never in her life, she had happened to see a man's bare chest so closely. The raw sensuality of his smell was intoxicating luring her to a sense of dream and culmination of her sleeping desires for a company. She felt she experienced a series of attacks of sentiments and emotions from all fronts. She was not her normal self. All she felt that she was flushed and aroused to no limit.
He made her sit on the edge of the bed. She obliged. She had never before seen a sight of a male leisurely opening the buckle of the belt, take it out from the loops with deft mechanism. Then he had unzipped pulled down his waist button and the pants had glided down the floor as if by magic. It was asight to see how earlier he had freed himself from the tie and collar button like an athelete. He had unbuttoned his sleeve and front buttons in a flurry, how he tidied his hair with his hands. All this amazed her to a great extent.
Slowly, slowly and with rhythm he disrobed her. She felt hands tugging at her dress. She reached out to brace herself to keep from falling. She was completely nude now. A strange hush fell over the room. Seeing her nude frame in the mirror opposite the bed, she was ashamed. She was perplexed. She was much nonplussed, shy and ashamed out of embarrassment and shyness and shame. She extended her hand on the burning lamp; that she put her palm on the candle-lamp; to save her from shame and embarrassment. The candle blew out, went off, a small circle of smoke spreading nearby.
The room turned dark with no light. He could not see her. She was saved of her exposure. In the process, she got her palm burnt. Next morning, her friends made a great fuss about her burnt palm. She preferred to keep quiet. She could not describe what she felt.
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Happiness no. 1. is to have a healthy body.
Happiness no. 2. is to have enough food in the house.
Happiness no. 3. is to have a ideal good wife.
Happiness no. 4. is to have one good son or daughter.
Happiness no. 5. is to have peace in the family.
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