CHAPTER 6.    THE MODEST.

 

Worries come by the pound, go by the ounce.

One man's worry is another man's joy

No pains, no gains.

After Christmas comes Lent.

He was a figure among ciphers.

Two heads are better than one.

Friends may meet, but mountains never meet.

Easier is said than done, many men, many minds.

Crows never trust anything.

Gold and women attract even the wisest.

Every mischief has a strong support.

Good wine needs no push.

Strike the iron while it is hot.

Plough or not plough-you have to pay the rent.

Two Sundays never come together.

Oxford knives and London wives are good to look.

The used key is bright.

When cats are away, then mice are at play.

He, who has no brains, must have strong legs.

If the Crow curses, cattle do not die.

Set your sails as the wind blows.

The whole is sure greater than its part.

In prosperity, a man thinks of Gold,

In adversity,   a man thinks of God.

Judge not any man or things at first sight.

Put the saddle on the right horse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE MODEST.

 

In the Library hall there were a few students, boys and girls, busy doing something.  He happened to be there. He had just walked across the floor as his long legs let him glide towards a corner place.  He stood before the rack of books,  began selecting.

In the meantime, the library door once again seen opened.  She, had  just entered.  The atmosphere got charged with thrill and excitement. On her entry, she was endowed with, adjectives such as statuesque, graceful, yummy, in low murmurs from the male lot. His eyes were not the only eyes that followed her every step in the hall.  But  he was the one who took it real hard. She had just walked by looking all good.   He knew she was going to stay on his mind for a while for good. 

Over a year ago he was present with his teammates for tsunami victim donation-collection. He had happened to spot her at that time. As she pulled the chair, her glimpse took over a place in a corner of his mind forever. Here was a pretty girl with a pretty smile that melted his heart and body to an un-describable extent.  After that he had made a few attempts to make contact but of no avail.

 

She come to the Library reading room, to copy notes on an important subject. Her exams were fast approaching. She was busy for the last few months.  She sank in a chair in a corner.   She made herself easy, relaxed like at home.  She kicked off her sandals in an attempt to really free herself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He:  " Hi”  “Good Morning!”  

Someone muttered her the greeting.  It was a man’s voice.

She: “Hi,” she said off-handed, almost casually.

(She returned the greeting by a nod of the head.  She did not look up. It was a casual response.)

He : “Tired?”

 

Now it was a question openly addressed to her.

Now she looked up. She raised her eyes.

He was standing near her. He had books in his hand.  He appeared good-looking. He had a face that looked hard rather than handsome.   He was quite tall with impressive features. His hair was unruly. There was an atmosphere of youthfulness about him.  He may not be called young. May be he may be in late thirties; perhaps. She guessed. She made an estimate.

She:      “Yes!” She muttered. She made the head nod.       The ball now was in his court.

He   :    “I wonder why women wear high heeled sandals.”

He continued the dialogue.

She was not inclined to reply. However she muttered. She wanted to cut short the matter.

She:      “Fashion.” She made a one-word reply.

He  :      “Sandals and clothes make the woman?” he retorted.

 

Now she was exasperated at his impertinence. She replied out of courtesy.

She:      “No”.

She:     “They make an impression about the woman.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She wanted to end the talk.  She wanted to terminate the conversation and resume her writing. She adjusted her notebook in front of her and began writing.

He:     “I do not think so.” He continued. He was interested to prolong the conversation.

He:    “It is the woman that matters. Not her trappings.” He further added

She:  “I must go back to work.” “Excuse me.” She cut off the conversation.

It appeared she was indifferent to his charm, male domination. She kept eyes on her pen, glad to do something.

The physical attraction was inexplicable, despite the luster and charm.  He had luster on his face, she felt; he was undeniably a very sensual man. She thought.

He crossed over the table, made him comfortable in a chair just opposite her.  He opened one of his books, began reading.  From time to time both happened to size up each other.   She realized how much she was enjoying this cat and mouse scenery. She liked his informal clothes, a white T-shirt cotton trousers and sandals. He was tall elegant with mild and awkward manners. His world seemed to be filled with his books. His eyes many times widened and flashed with a smile. He had a pencil In his hand, which he used to fondle with, make abstract designs or write some words for future reference. Both looked like two sides of a coin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She surmised, when he went out on a formal evening he must be dressed well.  Both stole glances at each other occasionally.  Both pretended they were busy with their books.  She dreamed of being his mistress at least for one night. She wished to know more about him. She felt to herself. She was curious about him.  She felt it to do so in light of his interest in her. He seemed a nice fellow.

She sensed such a feeling by the way he was surreptitiously glancing at her.  She knew what it meant to have an affair with him. She did not want an affair.  In time she would over power him. She thought to herself.

 

She would gain power. Power she wanted. Power is a pretty toy. She thought.

She: “Oh! Yes.” She said again to herself. “I crave for power.” She said to herself.

Power coupled with her ability would change the things. She thought.

He:    On his part he was striving to find a girl of his liking and choice. He thought.

He:   “She would fly on her own wings; she was that kind of a person.” He thought.

He:     “She appears to be a pampered spoilt child of her parents.”  He thought.

She:  “He appears a rough diamond, needs polish.” She evaluated him.

She examined him from matrimony point of view.

She:   “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” She promised herself.

She:    “Once he comes in my clutches, he will not know what hit him.”  She was sure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He:     “Keep her in her place.” Some man had said. He remembered.

He:      “She will have to be kept under a tight rein lest she might fall the rider.”

She:    “I may agree to go for a dinner.” She thought in her mind.

She:     “Nothing further.” She hastily added to her thoughts. .

All sorts of ideas were hovering in their minds. Both were involved in their views.  She wanted to be somebody.   She wanted to come out of status of nobody.   She wanted to be an owner of a newspaper. She liked to open a bank. She wanted to head the stock exchange. She may even accept a high-ranking job if available.  That is where power lay. Power is a good weapon. After about more than an hour or so she felt like winding up. She put on her sandals, a prelude to leaving the room.  She collected her books and got ready to rise and go. He felt so.  He glanced at her meaningfully.   It appeared as if his face fell at her gesture of departure.   She was without any male company.

She had abandoned the idea of involving herself with anyone long back. Today she liked to be involved herself with someone. 

 

 

She wanted to be involved with a man whom she would like to marry. The kind of a man she wished, must be rich. She opined.  He must be social.  He must be manly and not the average type.

He must not look at other girls. All fellows were flirts.  He would change.  To give it a try she may have a dinner or an outing with him. She thought. She liked.

There are three arts in which the man must be familiar,  reading writing and arithmetic. Reading makes a man well versed, writing an exact and etiquette a gentleman.

 

 

He must be good at love making and cooking. She thought. He must know how to hold her. She thought. He should give up his business for her. A businessman has a girl in every city.  At least he should take the initiative. He should come forward to ask her to go with him.  What for was he waiting? He must take the lead!  What for was he waiting!

She liked his eyes. She liked his nose. She liked everything.

He also made a gesture of winding up his work. He did not disappoint her.  He gave her a full smile. The smile was heart stopping.  More heart stopping was the way the smile broadened when their eyes met.

She grinned back.  She could not have stopped grinning back if she had tried.  He did ask her for the canteen. He had taken the initiative.  He asked her for a cup of tea with him. Now the ball was in her court.  She said she was already due for a cup of tea, he was welcome. She invited.

While making way from the room to the canteen, her heart danced with an unknown pleasure. She realized how much she enjoyed midway through sandwiches and a cup of tea. She was glad she was informal in her clothes in simple dress. 

 

              She felt herself comfortable in her simple clothes a   

              white blouse and black full length skirts.  The tea

              was perfect. So were the sandwiches.

It was the atmosphere of the canteen that she found was changed, electrified.  Some boys in the distant table were engaged in earnest argument about the war. Some talked about financial crisis and job-hunt.

Some had come to relax and laugh over their private jokes.  There were a few talking on hand phones.  The rest listened to music. Some were singing along.  Both were sitting across each other enjoying the music.

 

 

There were too many rejections and failures before.  Both felt now they were in the right company.  Both felt contented and happy. This was the last chance. Both had to decide now. The very fact that he had come to the reading room seeking her was suggestive of the fact that he was serious about her. She felt she was not fit to judge him.   She had neglected him earlier in the library as routine.

At the moment he had talked to her, she had felt engrossed in him. The way things were going was not disappointing.  Things had not lived up to her dislike in the beginning.   It did not matter now. There would be time enough to measure each other.  This was not the end. This was the beginning.  Their future was bright. It was held in suspense.  Both were absorbed in small talk. He said he lived in the campus.  He was a rector in boys’ hostel. She looked at him carefully, with interest. She began describing him in her mind.  She never imagined him living in the university campus.  She had imagined him to be a mature businessman.  She found his face familiar. She might have seen him on the campus.  He was single. He was a bachelor.

 

That one can not say. He had said that he was not married;   unmarried?  right. He was unmarried. Unmarried is the proper word.  He was a bachelor. That he could only say. She had dreamed of him as a settled man with a family and living in some social circle.  Throughout the conversation he was appraising her. He was sizing her all the while.   She was tall. She was lively. She was different. He could not lay his finger on it.  Measuring her against his height of five ten she must be five, five.

 

 

 

 

 

Physically her strongest plus point was her remarkable figure broad shoulders, slim waist shapely hips and slim shapely legs. Her ankles were trim and lovely to look at.    Her hair was arranged with curls brushed forward onto her cheeks and her face with dark direct big eyes with an oval shape.  She had a straight nose generous mouth gave her an appearance of girlish buoyancy charm which made her attractive at first sight. She was bubbling with vitality.  He had not examined a female so closely in years.  In little time they were together both had progressed well in exchange of personal history and vital facts about each other.   Smell of potatoes being fried was coming from the canteen kitchen.  He suggested if she would spend some more time with him.  He would take her on a sight seeing ride. If she had nothing else to do and she liked to get off her feet he would take her to the Film City where all sort of action lay. He proposed.  Now he was in charge of the situation and she was her follower. Both had dangled the bait, it was a question of time who swallowed whose bait.   He pampered her in between their small talk, by all side remarks to the effect that he was aware of her spotless reputation all around the college; she was considered a topper in the eyes of the staff and students of the college. She was happy.  He and his brother the Prince were her admirers. She gave him a full smile.

They were unanimous in their opinion that she had a bright future ahead. She liked it.  Optimism restored her confidence and now she opened up a bit taking interest in what he was expressing. She listened to him with deep interest.

She assumed that the first meeting was more than promising.  She liked the way things were going. Her future and success seemed at hand.

 

 

 

 

For the first time in years she felt her dreams realized. In a warm glow, thinking of this entire she felt herself nearer to her goal ever than before. Only in this country people closed their eyes to evaluate her talent and intelligence.

Here recommendation from higher ups weighed more than talent and intelligence. Recruitment was made on recommendations rather than on merits.

The politicians had polluted entire structure of human dignity values and norms of society.  To them votes were more important than a clean administration.

They had succumbed to the lowest possible level of corruption, crime and jugglery.  All these experiences had made her stubborn, calculated and guarded.

She had realized that maintaining relation and friendship was not a one way street.  She remembered innumerable occasion of offers of friendship and company at the hands of politicians and college trustees.   All had attempted to persuade her to follow their footstep with blind obedience.   She had chosen to remain independent.   She did not want any ties.   She did not want to be caged.

She had kept her independence intact.  She had paid a heavy price for her independence.  Sometimes she felt bitter and her anger and bitterness were aimed at them.  In the heart of her hidden self she had a hope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God must have made a man who held the key to her future.

Today she felt that she had realized her Man in him.

She felt she did not handle him right earlier in the day. She was lucky she had kept the end of contact live. Now he mattered most to her. 

 

In her depressed mood she did happen to have memory of association with some of them. She recollected some happy moments passed in their company.

 

But none was a Real Man for her.

Now she longed to capture one good man for life.  She found him over aged but suitable.  She needed a mature type.  Heaven has no rage, like love to, hatred turned,  nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.  It was true he had been the first love and lover.   He may offer himself  totally without any reservation. She thought. Both had known about each other for the past few hours.  She felt when she had enough of him she would conveniently put him aside.  In her calculated steps she had remained unaware of his strength, hold over her.   It may leave many wounds.

The wounds may not be healed. She again thought so. Passing of time would surely alter their social position, high standard of living and a successful career. She compromised. She consoled herself.  They were successful and well placed celebrities in the eyes of the society.  She was building all sorts of castle in her mind about him. Now that she felt need, she was looking for a man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If he came to know, then he would show no pity towards her she agreed.  In one corner of her mind she had not forgotten the magnetism of his presence and his dominating style of talking and handling her. She recollected this aspect about him.

If he got mad, there would be no exchange of correspondence with each other for quite a long time.  No letter, no message could reach them. She thought. As time would pass she would get herself hardened and tough. She consoled herself.

There was another approach. She planned to approach by appeal to his emotion and sentiment.

From his talk he seemed a middle class type.

He had grown up in limited means and his life was a continuous struggle. She surmised.

Both had appreciated the fact that security and money were the pillars of a happy life in future. She continued in her thought.  Where there is money, there is peace and happiness. For love or for money he may turn to her.   She had to lure him.  In the first instance brief friendship was to be established. She planned.  Gradually it should turn into company and so on and so forth. She agreed.  If he backed away, it was clear in her mind that she would have to devise other means to keep him interested in her.

She had put in the machinery in gear soon.

She felt that she did not possess the stature and courage to behave forward with him; she could play the role of encouraging partner in his advancement.

She liked to accept him as his man in the eyes of the society.   She had to reconstruct the entire way of approach.  She needed friends who would help them in bringing them together.  She did not want to be used. 

 

 

 

 

 

She wanted to use him.  She wanted a devoted subject.   With the passing of time, she had felt lonely for male companionship, for male warmth. Her mind longed to belong to someone. She may be anything but beautiful.  This was her asset. She was a class beauty.  She was a chic in her simple dress.  Her long legs were anything but a pleasant sight.  His devotion to her should be absolute. There is no sharing with other woman; never.  She was very sensitive about it.   All men change afterwards.  No chance of playing games. She would have to keep an eye on her. Men change always.  

 

He would like her on equal terms.  He was engrossed in his calculation.  She was comfortable to talk to.  She should pose as non-demanding and encouraging in his advancement.  She had her virtues that would interest him.  He came out of his thought. He signaled the waiter,  a prelude to wind up.  She came out of her dream. She stood ready to leave.  He paid the bill with a tip. He stood ready to leave.

Holding her by the elbow he led her out of the room. They advanced towards the college gate. Both were happy. They looked a nice couple made for each other.

He hailed a waiting cab outside the college gate. He asked the driver to take them to museum. He remained standing. He signaled her to sit in. She passed him to take seat in the cab.  She put her books in the purse on her side. He seated himself besides her.  After they sat down she coolly faced him, her eyes dancing with joy, she said,

She:  Why can’t we go to the Statue of Liberty?  He stopped to think. He moved is hand on his chin as if in two minds. Then he directed the cabdriver to take them to the Statue of Liberty.

 

 

 

The Gateway is an important tourist spot in New York. Within a few minutes they were heading towards the sea phase drive way. Her gaze was fixed on the oncoming traffic. It appeared she was absorbed in her thought.  At last the cab stopped near the destination.   He alighted first.   He extended his hand to help her to come out of the door.   Awkwardly she caught hold of his hand and came out of the narrow passage.  Amusingly he took the long tapering fingers lightly saying,

He: “I am honored.”

It had been an enchanted day seemingly happy.  For two persons just met they had too much to discuss in a short spell of an afternoon. Initially the conversation was impersonal more or less informative.  She inquired about the history of the Statue. He explained to her about the details how it was made in pieces in Europe and shipped to New York. It was assembled, and placed at the present spot in one piece. He told her what he could of each as colorfully as possible. He had described Statue, and its origin to the best of information he had about it.  The long and wide ocean was a feast for the eyes.  At last, they boarded the boat, waiting to take them to the spot.

 

New York had a million people visiting daily morning from far off and nearby places and leaving in the evening plus ten millions living there. Of the great cities on earth, New York alone looked as it had looked two decades ago.

At last she hoped, they would come to ask about themselves. She felt embarrassed by his long speech and his enthusiasm, both things uncharacteristic of him. Then he said he had been holed in the hostel room for months and this was after about a year that he happened to visit the place, and that too because she was with him.

 

 

He: “You are quite young. You have too much to do and see.” He pampered her.

She: “When we met you posed as if you were a middle aged old.”  She recollected.

She: “You are not that old.”   She assured him.

She: “And forgive me. I am not a child. I am twenty-one.” She added further.

He held his tongue.

She went on. She continued to empty her feelings for him.

She: “I have had occasion to go out with boys in their twenties.”

She: “I find them tiresome.” “They are bores.” “They are a pain in the neck.”

She: “I have never had as good time with any of them as I have been having with you.”

He smiled. He acknowledged. She felt she was well rewarded by him.  He had liked it.

He:   “It is not me, miss; it is the statue and the Atlantic.” He added.

She: “Oh! You are such a bore! Her eyes danced and she smiled as she spoke.

She said it in a gesture of mock exasperation.

He knew he was a bore. He agreed he was a real bore. She was right about it.  He always was these days. He was absorbed in something. He was losing interest in life.

Today he was feeling better in almost years as long as he could remember.  Both were seated at the last step of the gateway their feet dangling in the depth of the shore. Her legs more appropriately were hanging over on the side facing the water.   She was staring down into the water absentmindedly.  She had relaxed; her head gazed at the clouds in the sky light sunrays falling over them.  She crossed her long legs.  She was at home happy with him.

 

 

 

His eyes had gone from her lips down to her exposed knees and the slender legs. He felt that he could never find anything about her dull and boring.  He felt excited by her presence. He got an insight in her thinking.  He had lived with his past. He had nothing else in his life but the glorious past.  He had lived, relived died buried for months and years, he had magnified his worries.  They had crowded out everything else of life. He agreed.  Other people had no need to dwell on his worries.  They had their own life to live. Their lives were filled with new experiences. Take her for example. She could eat anything. She could sleep easily without remembered dreams.  She got awakened in peace. As opposed to her he had no easy sleep.

He was used to getting awakened with a start, a jolt every morning. She broke the silence. 

She: “Let us visit the Museum.” She felt like going to some other place. 

She: “That is what I would like much to remember.”

 

They hurried to the nearby boat platform, came to the rear wharf and occupied the motorboat. She was anxious to see the museum for sightseeing.  Both sat at the back of the low seat so as to enjoy the wind and the spray.  She lay back in his arm nestled close to him.  She pressed at times even closer when waves of passing boat made them bounce and roll.  He was absorbed in his thoughts.  The island was an abode of thinkers and not doers. Suddenly he realized that she had moved out of circle of his arm. 

She: “Here we are.” She stood up to be first to cross over the gangplank to the jetty.  He rose. Both waited for the boat to be tied secure to the wharf.

He helped her out of the boat.  They took a cab for the Museum. 

 

 

 

In the approaching garden overlooking the place, she squeezed his hand. 

She:  “I am glad we came.” She said as they approached the museum building.

For about a full minute he stood still inhaling fresh air and staring at her enjoying the outcome of her beauty.

He studied the ancient monastery walls. He narrated history of the place. He pulled her to a doorway. He kissed her for a few moments. Neither of them spoke.  They stepped out of the doorway and moved towards the next lane of the statues.  She liked it. She mixed with him more freely. They discussed the various arts depicted in the museum. He told the stories about each statue and painting. This fascinated her to a great extent. Both deeply studied the various mythological stone carvings of different dignitaries.  They sat on a bench to absorb the beauty of the statues from a distance. It pricked him with a new sensation.  He proceeded to tell her about their lives. She answered at random, Colour burned in her cheek. It was a pleasure to him to make the conversation. His veins and nerves attended to her.  She was young and so palpitating !

The talk went on, meaningless and random. She fluttered besides his steady pressure of warmth and care. Both hand-in-hands moved around the complex limping and leaning on each other’s shoulders.  Both came out of the museum after a few hours. He turned to stare at her. She blushed out of shame and shyness.  It was almost evening. They hurriedly returned.

He:   “Did you enjoy?” He: “Did you like it, or feeling tired?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He:   “You must be dog-tired after all this exertion.” 

He:    “How you feeling?” He asked when he saw her quiet and absorbed.

She:  “Oh! I enjoyed. Thank you.” She replied as if recovered from a reverie.  She liked. She just smiled to herself.

She blushed; her eyes fixed on his T-shirt and the outline of his powerful frame of the body.   He took her arm and a wave of feeling for him rose in her.

No one had ever asked her how she felt; no one had ever cared what she wanted.  Both agreed to go to a hotel.  Both deliberated for quite a while.  Both discussed the pros and cons of going to a tea-stall.  They talked all the time. He made his sentence in sheer almost muscular pleasure of being with her.  He was looking at her all the time, perceiving her, appreciating her, finding her out, gratifying himself with her. He could see distinct attractions in her., her eyebrows, with a particular curve, gave him pleasure.  He would see her bright eyes like shallow water, and what not.

 

He:  ‘Shall we go then?’

She rose in silence.  He seemed to hold her in his will.  Light rain drops were falling.

He:  “Let us have a walk. I don’t mind the rain. How about you?”

She:  “No. I don’t mind.” She echoed.

He was alert in every sense and fiber.  He put his arm around her. She walked as if she were unaware. Gradually as he walked, he drew her near and near into the movement of his side and the hip.

She fitted in there to the size. It was a sensation to walk with her like this. It made him aware of his muscular self.

 

 

 

 

His hand that grasped her side, felt her curve and it looked like a new creation to him, a reality, an absolute.  It was a star. Everything was

absorbed in this small curve in her body that his hand and his body had contact with.  They needed no eyes.  All they wanted to know was through touch.  He put his arms around her and his hands upon her. He wanted to know her closely. He let out his fingers to seek her cheek and neck. His hands pressed upon her gently searching her out that she too was swooning in the feel of unknown sensations in her body.  She clenched her knees thighs and her loins together.  This was bliss.  He was patiently working on her relaxation.

He at length kissed her. She felt lost by his kiss. Her open mouth was helpless and unguarded. His kiss was gentle and soft and assuring.  Her mouth too became assured even bold, seeking his mouth.  He answered her gradually and his soft kiss sinking in softly but now more heavily and yet more heavily till it was too heavy for her to endure. She began to sink under him.  She was sinking, sinking to a no end.

He sheltered her, caressed her and kissed her again and again. He came nearer and nearer. He gathered himself together to make her relax and whole of his being fondled her.  He drew her to him closely. She was silent. She did not stir. They wanted a place to be one with each other. He had to decide.  He was helpless.  He had no knowledge of decent lodging places.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After exploring lot of other places, she came to his help. She agreed to go to her room.  Both laughed simultaneously as they turned in the main door of her apartment house. They had collected eatables on way.  When they arrived at her place it was late evening. She led him inside the lobby and the door closed behind them. They climbed the stairs to her room, the stairs-area smelled of fresh lemons. They walked into her apartment hand in hand. It seemed to consist of a living room, and the rear bed room. There was a kitchen cum dining hall in between. He surveyed.  The room was filled with two chairs a table and a corner sofa-cum-bed. He saw them.  The room was otherwise neat and clean.

It was quiet and secluded being in a corner of the complex.

No sooner the room door was closed at their back; he had his arm around her waist. He took her in his arms. The pulse in her throat throbbed against his fingertips.

He angled her head up. He licked and tasted and teased the sensitive taper of her throat even as the fingernail skated down the opposite side of her neck and sneaked beneath the white collar of her blouse.  Her skin was hot for the touch; burning hot.   There was no sense in denying him. She ceased trying. She studied him now with kindly eyes.

This man was not taking advantage of her.

He appeared a decent lively type of a fellow.

She wanted to be what every woman longed for.

This part of her yearning was about to be fulfilled.

Shelter, safety, protection, understanding, loyalty and company  was a must.

She was tired of pulling the burden alone herself on her shoulders.  The career she was going to embark upon demanded self-sufficiency.  It was worth an emotional gamble to resort to a life of an indoor wife.

 

 

 

She was tired of a hectic life full of bossy masculinity all around.  All these years she was judged as a female object. She had not felt feminine.  She wanted to be a wife with subdued elegance. Wifehood was the best hood for a girl under all circumstances.  She got rid of him and hurried to her inner room for a wash and change.  This left him alone in the room wondering how events had taken a sudden change.  She returned after a few minutes looking more elegant than ever. She looked fresh as a daisy.   She was standing not two feet far from him. 

He thought: “Oh, what a figure!” He left a sigh of joy.

She was now clad in an almost sheer white silk midi with a blouse on it.  The white blouse was half buttoned down the front. She was clearly without a bra. Her youthful breasts needed no support. They were natural firm and tight.  Her nipples pointed straight at him through the blouse.

She was wearing an eye-evoking dress.   She was moving. She felt like parading on a stage for his view.

Her breasts moved loosely beneath the blouse.

She reached the divan directly opposite him, made herself comfortable throwing herself on it.   She threw herself onto the divan, her knees and legs up resting her feet on the stool.  He could see between her parted legs.

He could see her visible bare thighs.  He could see narrow strip of her panties making a bulge. He felt excited beyond limit. 

His mouth and throat felt try.  He felt a hammering of sensations in his temples.  His hands dropped to his lap. He pressed his legs to each other in an attempt to control his desire.  He was never excited like this before.

 

 

 

 

She was here right in front of him sitting. He felt her reclining on the divan.  He could practically reach out and touch her. He lifted his face to look at her to see what she was doing to him.  She was not looking. She was absorbed in a small activity.  She was busy filing her nails. She had declared open the show.  She was calculating the risk she had run.  Her looks her mouth, the nest between the legs drove him mad. Briefly he closed his eyes, as he could not take further.  He avoided looking at her. He felt himself out of his control. She completed her filing the nails. She was about to get up and move.  She had kept herself busy in other activity to look casual. She put aside the file and looked at him with a smile. He moved his chair nearer to her. He rose and sat besides her.  He put his arm around her neck and it went up to her waist.  The arm encircling her waist was firm but not painfully tight. His grip was unbreakable.  He made her rise to find a better place. Both went in the inner room. Both threw themselves on the bed. His touch was urgent.   It was not unnaturally demanding.

She could pull away from him if she wanted.

She had a feeling he would release her.

She could call a halt to this type of madness.

The only problem was that she did not want him to stop at any thing.  He kissed her, not hesitantly but comfortably. She felt moved and aroused.

He kissed her for many minutes.  She liked it.

He wanted to see her.  He wanted to feel her.

He huskily whispered her name in her ear and the feel of his breath misting on her skin. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It sent a shiver of excitement skating down her spine. 

He: “Take it off. I want to see you.” He pleaded pointing his finger at the blouse.

Such words were heard at last. She was anxious to hear these words.  His tip of the tongue traveled over her neck his teeth nibbled creating the most wonderful combination of pleasure and pain. 

He:        “I want to taste you.” He entreated.

He;        “All of you; now.” He was insistent.

She was not in a position to refuse or withdraw.

It was exactly her body ached for.  It was what every nerve in her body cried out.  It was what every beat of her heart throbbed and demanded.  She wanted to be with him skin to skin. She flushed fiercely.  She went red with shame and shyness.  She was in a state of excitement.  There was no turning back.  That is how she wanted to feel him, skin to skin, mouth to mouth, heart to heart. Her arms were down to her side.  Her elbows were locked rigid.

She realized that she had lifted her right hand, her fingers poised over the laces that crisscrossed her blouse.  She grasped for the lace and tugged.  The knot fell away.  The strain of the ripe breasts underneath the fabric widened the gap. She felt her skin shiver, as the tip of his finger traced it.

It went around lower and lower, still lower. His skin was rough. It rasped against a smooth flesh. He stroked past the narrow way from the dimple in the collarbone downward.

She swallowed hard as he stroked the upper swell of her breast.  He dipped and nuzzled the tight shadowy cleft in between.   He then turned his attention to the other one.

Her skin burned to his touch.  Her desire was at its highest.

 

 

 

There was tightness in her stomach. She was having shivers.  The lower part under the stomach was aroused for the first time in her life.  It cried out as if it wanted to be caressed explored touched.  She had no man who ever saw or touched the forbidden area. Today it was different. She wanted him to see it. She wished this man to visit to touch to explore that forbidden area. What a change! She was a different person altogether today.

She felt hot there. It ached there. It started opening. It contracted and expanded. It started its exercise as a prelude to receive him. She felt moist. She felt slippery. She was oozing.   Every time he tugged on her nipples, the muscles between her thighs pulsated with a push and painful yearning. It was like a juicy cave. The ground was all set and ready.   She could not understand the feeling. She liked. This was new to her. It was bliss.  She was not sure whether she should continue to feel him there. She could not refuse. The thought of his touching her forbidden place was almost embarrassing. Dash it, stop him. It was at the same time very, very exciting. She could not stop him. She would not. Her breathing became shallow. Her throat dry and her mind stopped forever.   His shoulder made a cushion for her head. It rested for a while there.  His breaths were echoed in the rise and fall of his chest against her back.

His hips lean and hard pressed into hers.  The hips demanded her acknowledgement of the hard longing length of his need.  She did acknowledge.  She reciprocated his signals by mute consent. Her entire body seemed aware of it.  She was aware of the way he with his hands tugged and freed her of the sleeves of the blouse.  He tossed it to the floor in an urgent need to grasp them with his hands. 

 

 

 

 

At that moment his hands settled over her breasts.   The nipples reacted fast to his touch aching for life.   It felt like fire burning in the center of his palms.    His fingers curled inward slowly savoring her feel.  Scratch of his fingertips against smooth bare skin of her thigh was a pleasure. It could be matched by none; hard versus soft.   Virile power overpowered versus feminine fragility.  His hand opened and spread her thighs.   Her head was swimming. He had just caressed that warm moist secret place between her legs.  She tensed.   She flinched.  She shrank out of shame. His hand stilled.   His thumb and the forefinger pinched her nipple rolling back and forth.   He had spotted, scaled the mount of Venus.  He was about to touch it, feel it.    She drew in a deep breath. Fingers combed the nest of tight dark curls of hair between her legs. The intimate stroke of his finger was electric.  A charged current shuddered through her stealing anything she might have said.   If her feet had felt watery before, it was nothing in comparison to what they felt now.  He had captured the Mount of Venus under his control. She was dancing to his tune.  If he had not supported her, she would have collapsed on the floor.   He opened and spread her legs.   She liked the sound of her name on his lips. She felt as if she were in Heaven.    He stroked her and caressed her.  She moaned. She felt she was dying. She was about to burst out of agony.  Her back arched.  This pressed her breast more fully in his palms. She could not contain herself.  She felt she would burst open any moment. She tried to contain herself, but

her hips thrust forward of their own accord yearning for his touch.  Her skin was softer than velvet.   At his touch she gave in a sigh of pleasure.   The sigh was yearning as she arched back and looked at him expectantly. 

 

 

 

He took his own time in undressing.   He then undressed himself.   She felt better than any woman had ever felt before.

It was not enough.   She wanted to feel more. She wanted more. She felt she was entitled to much more than he had given.   He wanted more. He felt he was entitled to more than she had given.  There was a tie. Both wanted more.  Desire hummed through their blood.  It pounded in their temples. Both felt simultaneously. He had to have her now and now on the spot without any further waste of time.   He was very much aware of the woman in his arms.   He was very much aware of the way her soft body was pressed against his.   The moist velvet area between her thighs was an enticement unto itself.   He slowly and slowly slipped one finger inside her. She gasped. She flinched.   Her spine went rigid.   A gasp of whispered shock passed her lips.   The back of her head ground into his shoulders.   From a great distance she felt the greatest sensation of thrill experienced at his intrusion on her privacy.  She wanted this man.   She wanted only this man.  It never occurred to her to ask him to stop.  He was on his job earnestly.  They were beyond this.  Things had gone out of her control.  The fire had spread in every part of her body. She was unable to stop it.

Her eyes were closed.  He positioned her on the bed. He let down her hair burying his face in its scented softness.  His lips lingered on her mouth and on her breasts.  This amazed her. She sighed contentedly.   She was eager for that deeper touch. She had imagined for the feel of him over her and the rise of his body to enter hers.  He moved inside her calling up a pleasure that rose and fell,  then rose and fell.   She wanted it each time more than the last. 

 

 

 

She went to sleep purposefully in his arms.  She was carried away by him.  She would take him to an unending journey.   The journey would give and demand more than comfort.   It would give and demand more than erotic satisfaction.  It would be selfless pure love of give and take on equal part.   She realized for the first time in life, bliss.   She felt an irresistible impulse to comfort him.   It was woman’s age-old impulse.  It was new to her. 

She woke up before he did in the morning.   She slipped out of the bed.

He was still sleeping when she came back from her bath.   She wanted him to make love to her again.  Redness crept on her face at such a wild thought.  It was not good to have such vile thoughts early in the morning.   But she might shock him.   She was overwhelmed by sentiments.

She felt satisfied.  She felt like crying.

She: (to herself) “I will not cry, I will not cry.”

She chanted these words over and over in her mind.

She felt her first drop of tear slip down her eye to the cheek.

It felt warm and liquid. His gaze tracked the full salty drop of her tear as it rounded her cheek trailed over her chin, splashed on to the front of her dress.

Tears of joy have their own place in life.   They come rare.

He drew her to him.    Both got busy in searching further secrets of life. She felt second session was about to commence. She was sure.   The barrier of shame pride was broken between.  The barrier of mystery secret and suspense was lifted.  The ice was broken. There was no wall of restraint between the two.   Both could go on and have each other as and when they pleased.  The secrecy of original penetration was realized. 

 

 

 

The suspense stimulation and sensations of the game both enjoyed.  The Berlin wall between the two was broken,   Both had access to each other as and when needed.   The mystery was solved. It was an open book now.  The summit was scaled, captured conquered.  The battle was over for both.  The battle was lost by both. The battle was won by both.  There was no existence of him.  She did not exist singly.     Both become one.  Both had melted in one.   A new entity was born.    That is life. They felt.  The cycle of life had now begun.  They were now to give birth to a new life.  This is the law of nature.   Old gives place to the new.  Old vanishes into oblivion.   New finds place to assert itself.  This cycle is eternal,  it goes on and goes on.  So on and so forth.   It remains a hot thing for five or six years.  What happens then? They were worried.   Probably what happens to every people? They consoled.   Too much sameness, too much closeness is boring. Weakness and blemish are seen clear.  Need for wanting pleasing is diminished.   Love takes place of companionship.  Of course they care for each other.  Nevertheless the wear of year’s marital attrition shows.  She is exhausted from children, house, and the tight budget.  He is weary from work and other problems.  They suffer from disappointment of not achieving security.   Time passes by like this.  

 

For decades sex had been less than nothing.  She was a small vessel in which men could masturbate dropping their filth in it.  Love and lust for her turns into, a talk.  To her he is no more interesting than a rusting trophy on the mantelpiece. Frustration and unrest is visible on his face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Having dinner at normal hours like all other is rare for them.   They feel regret and failure for not following the rules. Life becomes monotonous and mechanical.  There is no interest in life. They live to survive. This is the sum and substance of life. Why can’t they be like other normal people! Other families find things to do besides work and job. There should be some time that should belong to them.  Otherwise life becomes hell a burden to carry.

 

 

SUMMARY ANALYSIS.

 

If someone told her before a week back, that she was about to have an affair, she would have been both insulted and she would have raised hell. Her mother had hammered in her mind the necessity to keep away from males. She would have no association with them under any pretext. She had vowed innumerable times about this.

 

If someone told her before a week back that the man with whom she was to be associated would be a middle-aged man,  she would have probably fainted.

 

If  someone told her before a week back that  her  man would be some kind of a middle class rector of the boys’ hostel, she would have sure died out of shock and humiliation. 

 

But today to her surprise, nothing happened to her as predicted. She felt as if a load had been taken off her shoulders. She felt herself like a rational animal. She was happy and content to be his wife. She was not ashamed about it. She was proud. 

 

 

 

Human being is a rational animal. Love is blind. Love does not see money age caste creed and all that. Love is a wonderful thing.  Today she was in love. Long live, Love!

 

She felt contented happy and satisfied. She felt as if there was an end to her worries and anxiety. Now she would mind her domestic life with care.

She was straight slim and rosy. After marriage she blossomed into a full-fledged flower.  Her friends used to ask her of the secret of her keeping fit and healthy. She used to dodge the reply by a smile. She went red and shy in replying them. The secret was embarrassing to be revealed. Making Love is the best exercise. One's face glows in love.  They used to kiss in the doorframe for hours. They used to visit every spot in the house for love.  They made love at all places in the house. They were seen standing for hours kissing each other in a variety of pose and style. This used to make her exhausted. They used to dance and drink and kiss and get tired that they used to fall in sleep entwined in each other’s embrace. A woman expresses herself in many ways. In her case, she used to hum a song or raise her hands over her head like a halo, stretching her full length. This was the sign. He used to observe. It was the bell. He would be at work. He would instantly take her in his arms and do the job. Both were eager. Both were willing. It was Heaven on Earth. Making love kept them busy. No other ideas visit their minds. They are devoted to each other cent percent. Making love is the best exercise. You get totally exhausted in a love game. Love-birds always keep slim.  Love-making is a sure way to lose weight.  But you must be at it vigorously like two wild animals out in the jungle thirsty of each other's life.  Touchwood.

 

 

 

 

God created woman to balance the mankind. Man represents the half of world population.  Woman represents the other half. God has divided the world between the two in equal proportion. Man is a shallow selfish type of a fellow. Woman is forgiving tolerant type of a species. All men are alike. They want the same thing again and again. Women want love. They crave for love. Man has less time for love. He wants her right away. It is the devil in men living hiding in there. They are themselves devils. He plays all sorts of tricks to lure the female to fall in his trap. They hunt them. Females have the habit to cross their legs and close them out. They are fed up. A woman is built like that.  She can not be ready as a man does. You have to play with her. She has to be aroused. It is popularly said that a man is like an electric bulb. You switch on and there is light. On the part of a woman she is compared to a tube-light. Once you switch on, there should be a starter, and the starter after some fluttering would cause light. It is not instant light like the electric bulb.  Many men have no patience. They just want to be in and soon out.   She refuses to be used and abused.

 

It is not easy on the man. All doors appear closed for him. When there is excess of anything all doors get closed for help. Men have to resort to all sorts of tricks to lure them. Some are open and tactless. Some are wise and smart. Some are hidden. Some are open. Ultimately all roads go to the center of her heart. She is the ultimate object.  Ladies have been taught to be aware of men. Their mothers have tutored them.  They can tell about a man from the looks on his face. They have to cultivate this art.   Every man they meet is a challenge. Every man they meet is a sad chapter of her life.  She knows about it.

 

 

 

 

She accepts the challenge. It is triumph of hope over experience.  If he thinks he can handle her girl he is daydreaming. She is far more prepared than him. She gives him a long rope to hang himself. She tests his mettle. She puts him to test.   A girl is ten years wise than the man. She is calm cool calculative and cunning.

She is used to handling men of different types. She is well versed in this art.    All sorts of stories take place at the brook when they are washing themselves.    In the name of fetching water or in the name of washing themselves, the females flock together to engross in deep conversation with each other at the riverside get together. All sorts of topics are discussed with free and fearless expression of opinion about anyone and everyone when they flock together.

She plays a central role in men’s company. She is the center of attraction, where others listen to her with deft attention. She goes on narrating her views opinion etc.  Her presence softens the atmosphere. Her presence makes atmosphere lively.  Her presence has a devastating effect on males. All behave differently.  God created women to save them. They would fight among themselves.   They would have fought with each other and would have perished.   That is something about her that is different. She is an important entity. All look to her.

“The sea awaits her here as vast as love, and love awaits her here as vast as the sea.”

It is hard to put a finger on it. All want to make love to her. All want to possess her.  We will know in due course. We will find it out. Please be patient. It is coming. It is on way.  May be life is short and summer is shorter. All say so. But none bothers about it. 

 

 

 

Man greatly misunderstands if he thinks he understands a woman. We do not accept such a statement. He shouts at top of his voice to assert himself. He has to shout, as he is not sure of it.   He:  “I get what I want when I want it.”

He thinks he owns her. She is his property.

She:  “You get what you want when you want it, but, idiot, I already have it.”

She has bagged him. She coolly answers him as above in a befitting way. She has already got him. She is so sure of herself. She has already bagged him in her clutches. She has not to shout about him. She can twist turn and try him as and when she feels him. She is sure.

He has to boast about because he is not sure of her. He has not possessed her.

 

A woman expresses herself in many ways. A woman conveys so many things just by her facial expression, body gesture or sign of exasperation or joy.

We have to keep us ready observant and alert to watch her expression, which we hardly do. She may play a piano. She may hum a song. She may jump and dance around. She may dress herself exquisitely. She may wear a special dress. She may wear her ornaments and other jewelry.  She may have special make-up and best dressing. She may sigh. She may look at you expectantly. She may provide a clue. We are blind to see all her mild gestures. She may move around in the house humming a familiar tune.  She expresses herself in many ways. She also gives you a hint. We simply overlook such signals. We do not see. We are blind to notice her small gestures, hints clues.  We are engrossed in our day to day worries and overlook her expressions.  

 

 

 

She is with herself always and for herself only. She expects you to watch her expressions.  Her face expresses tenderness, it expresses anger too. We do not see it. She is deceptive. She is easily hurt. She feels. She cares. We have to see this.   She can be stubborn and hard as a rock if circumstances so demanded.  She can not be seen defeated. She is always the winner. How so ever you try, you are a loser.  She is alive and full of passion. You have to play your game in tune with her.  You can not help but love her. She knows. She knows your weakness. She can spot it.  Nothing is beyond her comprehension. She knows you exist. She stores you in her mind.  She gives you a long rope. Familiarity breeds contempt. She examines you by dropping you. Absence sharpens it. It is a game you have to play. This is all familiar to us. We have to accept it. Be away for a while. Things will fall into pieces by itself.   Man is a bundle of surprises. Every tomorrow brings new surprises. Man can not be relied. She knows it. She is therefore on her own.  Man is a bundle of inconsistencies. Man is a coward. She has very poor opinion about male-efficiency.  Man is prone to his weakness. Weakness is manifold. He is a slave of habits.

Indifference is also a weakness. Cowardice is a weakness. There are many weakness.   Stupidity is a weakness. Man chooses to serve no one but himself. She has known all this.

Man is striving hard to find happiness in her arms. When he is dropped, he absorbs himself in drinking, gambling and like such vices. Happiness is like hunting for a needle in a haystack.  Happiness is a point somewhere between too much and too little.

 

 

 

 

 

Happiness is within us. Happiness is not found at a dance-bar. Happiness is found within one’s self. You have not to wander about to find happiness. Happiness is not found in cutlery stores. Happiness can not be exchanged by shouting to others about your worries. Happiness is not found in clubs casinos. Happiness lies in being calm and contented. It will follow you like your shadow. Definition of happiness varies from person to person. Happiness is very tricky. More you try to hanker after more you are far from happiness. Happiness is individual.  Some find happiness in outdoor games. Our ancestors were happy when there were no roads. They were happy when there was no electricity. They lived life better than we did. They were happy. They were happy when there were no car buses and all that. They were happy when there were no fridge, air-conditioners. They were happy because their needs were few. Today despite all luxuries and comforts of life, we are not happy.  Today our needs have increased.    Now life has improved. But we are not happy. We all run after happiness. We want to be happy. Happiness is like an oasis as if it appears quite near, but far and far away from us.